*Goodbye to the year 2005*

For the most part, the year 2005 has been a difficult one in many areas. Mother Nature has shown her many sides. At the end of 2004 and well into 2005 a record-breaking Tsunami destroyed a lot of lives. Hurricanes Katrina and Rita destroyed a great part of the Gulf Coast, lives and homes of many American citizens. There were also earthquakes in Pakistan, all kinds of destruction that made some people think that Armageddon was beginning. Natural disasters take so many lives and the destruction has a domino effect on all involved.

I was saddened by the news that the war in Iraq has now taken more than 2000 american lives. The death toll to the innocent Iraqis who are victims of all of the suicide bombings is pathetic. I cannot hardly watch this ridiculous war anymore - Pandora's box was opened and now our president will just have to deal with the consequences. The Iraq war has proven to be a tremendous boost to Osama Bin Laden and Islamist militants around the world. Not only has the USA deposed Saddam Hussein, whom Bin Laden loathed for years, but the jihadists in Iraq are costing America in blood and money. The Iraq war has greatly expanded the pool of terrorists around the world and increased, not decreased, attacks. It is a fact that the year 2003 saw the highest incidence of significant terrorist acts (ones in which people were killed) in two decades, and the number tripled in 2004.
Mr. Bush gave more of his time and interest to this ungodly war than the war here at home in the US, and by that, I mean the division in this country. People in our gulf coast states still are living in motels, on cruise ships, in single wide mobile homes, don't have jobs - the whole situation is just so ugly. I say, charity begins at home. I got to the point that I would just start crying when I saw the homeless, the sick, the sadness, the damage that these hurricanes created. What made me so sad was that the current administration that is running our government took 5 to 6 days to even begin to take notice of it. Thousands of people in our own country were living in a superdome with no electricity, no food, deplorable conditions. It boggles the mind.
The current administration is on a downward spiral from the latest NSA bugging incidents, to Karl Rove and his role in the CIA links, to Donald Rumsfeld and his deranged handing of the war in Iraq, Dick Cheney's absence on the scene in Katrina for more than 12 days, to the choice of Harriet Mier for supreme court justice (thank heavens she withdrew her nomination) and then, of course, the Terri Schiavo thing, where Dubya and the kid brother Jeb created legislation for her benefit. The limits of the constitution have really been stretched this year. I cannot forget to mention the rising (daily) cost of gas, which nearly tripled in September, and then after the hurricanes, began a strange downward trend.

I am not Catholic, but I was very saddened by the death of the Pope. I think he was the finest pope ever. He did so much good for his faithful and was truly next to God. He is finally at home with his maker and I know he is in a better place. Johnny Carson's death was also sad, what a fine man he was. So classy and elegant, no one will ever replace him. He defined the late night talk show and as far as I am concerned, the only person worthy of mentioning to succeed him would be David Letterman. I will also miss Richard Pryor, what a life of pain and suffering he had - a lot of which was created by himself. As a child, raised in a brothel did not give him the tools necessary for a child to form a healthy ego. His gift of comedy will never be duplicated.
Michael Jackson was found "not guilty", imagine that. I hope those jurors are able to sleep at night. I personally feel that Jackson will be just like OJ though, never able to live in this world without people looking at you and knowing what you are guilty of, and the fact that you got away with it.
Of course, the whole year was not just death and destruction either. I am an eternal optimist, the glass has always been half-full. I have become a 'blogger' and it has been a wonderful experience. I read other's blogs and find my own writing 'therapeutic'. My husband started a really good job that he loves, he has good benefits so healthcare and prescriptions are no longer a drain. I have a good job, 2 miles from my home, that I love. I have began my craftwork again, exploring my artistic, creative side. I didn't realize how much I had missed it. I was so impressed by the kindness and generosity of strangers and other Americans when I saw their reaction to Katrina, people who went there and helped - just because.
I am working on staying in the moment, which is a true gift, being able to relish, cherish and live each day as it comes, in the best way possible, and being grateful for what I have. I will look back on 2005 without regret, say goodbye, and then let it go.
I sincerely hope that it is God's will that 2006 will bring about union rather than division in this country, peace in other parts of the world, and good health.

*2006, Here I Come*

Over the years, I have 'never' been one to make New Year's resolutions. When I was a little girl, I used to ask my Dad what his New Year's resolutions were. He would smile and always give me the same answer: I am giving up mountain climbing and deep-sea diving (something he had never done). I have lost weight without declaring it will be done on December 31st. I quit a terrible cigarette habit at the end of April eight years ago, believe me when I say this, quitting smoking was my 'ultimate' challenge, but I finally did it.

I will forget the goal of working out daily or joining a spa or health club, I know that is not going to happen.
I don't need a resolution in my life right now, I am happy and content. I could lose a few pounds, but I am not obese. I dealt with the smoking issue and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I anticipated a small weight gain with quitting that vile habit.
I know that I stated in my last post that I would not let the antics of our current leader, Mr. Bush get me upset. This declaration will cost me dearly because I doubt that I can or will even want to do that. As a American, I will continue to rant against people who have the sense of entitlement and assumed power that Mr. Bush feels that he has. What continues to amaze me though are his followers! I wonder to myself when I hear them praise him, "do they really believe he is doing a good job?" or "do they not want to admit that they were wrong in voting for him and are just now too ashamed to admit it?"
Today, though, I am resolving to be more patient, and this is one of my most serious flaws, blog-readers. If I ever do achieve that in this lifetime, I want to be bestowed with some type of award! I will really work on it though, I make that promise. Actually, I think that maybe I should just move into a Zen Buddhist Temple since I love their serenity and calmness. I will work on the belief that God's time, rather than my own, is the course to take. Secretly though, I have always believed that the "movers and shakers" of the world at least created 'change' instead of boredom.
My children will immediately answer that I have always been impatient, unable to allow life to unfold as it is supposed to in God's time, rather than my own time. I have mellowed though, after being on this Earth for so many years. Over the past several years, with the loss of my daughter, my Mother, my Stepfather and my Ex-Husband, and other family and friends in a very short period of time, I have had to accept God's time rather than my own time.
Currently, I am working on looking at my own behavior and taking stock of what needs to be done or undone. To me, this type of inventory taking is a daily process, wherein I look at myself, and try to make changes in my behavior rather than the other persons. Ultimately, I have a choice whether to have a good day or a bad day, the decision is mine.
One thing I HAVE learned over the years is to take this impatience and conquer it. Things will not change or happen faster just because you are angry about it. This is not how life works, and often by being impatient, I fail to appreciate the small steps and progress as it is before me at this very instant. Too much time is spent looking at the future, which I think should be better, rather than appreciating life's lessons in the moment. If one ever achieves this ability and is able to use it consistently, they are truly blessed.
With regards to my outspokeness, I am truly working on that. It was quite a problem in my youth when I protested the Vietnam war, carried placards, walked the Democratic protest lines, etc. Jane Fonda would have been proud of me! Since that time, over the years, I have, of course, mellowed and it is a 'work in progress'.

*My End of The Year Rant*

As this year comes to an end, I began to think of things that really made me upset, that pushed my buttons, so to speak. In the new year, I hope to roll with the punches and not let these things get to me, hopefully.

At the top of my list would be our current president, George W. Bush. The man will be in office for 3 more years, unless he is either assassinated, impeached or dies, so I have to learn not to let him bother me. What amazes me about this man is not only his arrogance, but his belief that he is above the law and can do as he damned well pleases. His arrogance and self-absorbed attitude only worsen in my opinion. The New York Times (which I read) and CNN broke the story recently that Mr. Bush had authorized eavesdropping on hundreds of Americans after the 911 attacks without getting proper court approval. Mr. Bush recently confirmed that he did just that and was angry that it had been discovered that he did so. The report confirmed how a highly classified program of monitoring communications between Americans and other individuals overseas were being spied upon if it was thought that they had terrorist ties in some way or the other. This program was run and done by the National Security Agency, approved by Mr. Bush, who justifies his acts as being necessary to "protect us" and our "country".
It staggers the mind that Mr. Bush consistently feels that he does not need to comply with proper legal channels if he doesn't want to. Many higherups in the administration have stated that he could have had immediate approval, or approval after the fact, if he needed to. He didn't have to push his way around. This somewhat reminded me of the recent Terry Shiavo case, which in my opinion, the government had no business even commenting on. Mr. Bush, and younger sib Jeb, basically highjacked Congress into creating a special law to protect her. Also, his recent attempt to amend the constitution of our country to define marriage as between a man and a woman only. He, under great stress, did admit finally that he relied on faulty intelligence to invade Iraq. When doing so, he puts on his arrogant face and attitude as if to say "so what?" "I am the president and I will do as I see fit to protect this country". The people in the New Orleans area are still struggling, a national sin, in my opinion. It amazes me that he has gotten away with so much and nothing has been done. Why is it that impeachment proceedings or federal investigations are not being done? What does it take for the people in this country to finally say, enough already, enough is enough? The final rant on Mr. Bush this year and I hope I learn to not let it upset me as much in the new year, but I sincerely doubt it. Politics are very dear to my heart, always have been, and I will probably die fighting for a cause.

I hope that the lack of progress and funding in the field of mental health do not continue to upset me. The mentally ill have done without and suffered for too long, no thanks to you Mr. Tom Cruise. I wonder why people think that his opinion is all that important.

Other things that I hope to not push my buttons in the new year: prejudice, narrowmindedness, threats to our civil liberties, government surveillance, corporate media monopolies, censorship of news, books, anything, reproductive rights, death penalty, any form of mistreatment or violence against animals, child abuse, people with senses of entitlement, gay rights. Oh my goodness, the list goes on..................

*Things That Make Me Feel Good*

While Christmas shopping today, I began to think of things that make me feel good inside - as the holidays always do! I love the time between Christmas and New Years and I love these things as well:
(Think about each before going on to the next)

Falling in love (this is magic, is it not?)
Laughing so hard that your face hurts.
A special glance from that special someone.
Getting mail that you have been waiting for.
Taking a long drive on a pretty country road, especially during change of seasons.
Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
Lying in bed, listening to the rain outside on the roof (one of my favorite things!)
Hot towels, fresh out of the dryer. (I love the fragrance!)
Finding a sweater you always wanted on sale for half price.
A chocolate malt or milkshake (or vanilla or strawberry)
A long distance phone call from a favorite person in your life.
A bubble bath, with candles and a chilled glass of wine.
Finding $20 in your coat from last winter.
Running through sprinklers on a warm summer day.
Laughing out loud for no reason at all.
Friends, dear and close friends.
Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
Watching the sunrise and watching gorgeous sunsets over the ocean.
Your very first kiss (don't you remember?)
Playing with puppies or with kittens.
Swinging on the swings with the grandbabies.
Going to a really great concert.
Holding hands with someone you care about.
Running into an old friend and realizing some things (good or bad) never change.
Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a gift from you.
Getting out of bed each morning and thanking God for another beautiful day.
Knowing that you are loved and cherished.

*Could Santa Claus Be A Woman?*

After thinking and thinking about it, I think that Santa Claus is really a woman.........
I sure hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but all things
considered, I believe he is a she.
Just stop and think about it - Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal. I have a very hard time believing that a guy could possibly pull it all off.
To begin with, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas eve. Once they finally arrive at the mall, they only seem to be able to find Ronco products, socket wrench sets or mood rings left on the shelf. This fact alone makes me believe that Santa is a woman. If he were a man, everyone would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree!
Another big problem for a male Santa would be just getting there. There would be no reindeer to take him because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if Santa did have reindeer, he would still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and would then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
There are other reasons why Santa could not possibly be a man:
Men don't know how to pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet!
Men would feel their masculinity was threatened - having to be seen with all those elves!
Men never answer their mail.
Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly".
Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can accept the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men - Father Time shows up only once a year unshaven and looking ominous, definite guy thing!
Cupid flies around carrying weapons!
Uncle Sam is a politician that likes to point fingers.
Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone-screening test.
But Santa??? Not a chance......................

*The Girl I Used To Be*

She came tonite as I sat alone....
The girl I used to be...
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
and questioned reproachfully:

Have you forgotten the many plans
and hopes I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame,
all the wonderful things to do.

Where is the mansion of stately height
with all of it's gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
and the jewels in your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her pleased with me...
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl that I used to be.

So gently rising, I took her hand
and guided her up the stairs
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems,
and precious they are to me;
That silken robes is my motherhood
of costly simplicity.

And my mansion of stately height is love,
and the only career that I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls
for the dear ones who come and go

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
she smiled through her tears at me,
and I saw that the woman that I am now
pleased the girl I used to be.

*Memory*

Memory is a selection of images

Some illusive, others printed indelibly on the brain.

Each image is like thread.

Each thread woven together to make a tapestry of intricate texture,

And the tapestry tells a story, and the story is our past.

*My Thoughts on Staying Young, Happy & Healthy*

*Throw out all non-essential numbers. This will include age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them, that is what you pay him/her for.

*Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches will pull you down. If you feel you really need a grouch, there are probably a few dozen of your relatives to do the job.

*Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening.............whatever. Just never let the brain idle. An idle mind is the devils' workshop - and that devils name is Alzheimers.

*Enjoy the simple things. When the children are young, that is all that you can afford. When they are in college....that is all you can afford. When they are grown and you are on retirement.......that is all you can afford.

*Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked anywhere by your distinctive laughter.

*Tears happen! Endure, grieve, and then move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is................ourselves.

*Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies.... whatever. Your home is your refuge.

*Cherish your health. If it is good......preserve it. If it is unstable......improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve......get help.

*Do not take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a different country....but not guilt!

*Tell the people you love, that you love them.....at every opportunity.

*Remember.........Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

*Sea Fever*

I have always loved the ocean, the smell of salt air, the sand between my toes and the sunsets off Sanibel Island. Sometimes I literally crave it - the calmness and serenity that it returns.

I hate to be near the sea when it is stormy and wild; when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and moody. In all of those moods, I see myself.

My recollection of the ocean has given me blessed release from care and worry and the troubled thinking of our modern day. It has been a return to the primitive and the peaceful.

Near the sea, we forget to count the days.

The tide rises, the tide falls, the twilight darkens, the curlew calls.

The voice of the sea speaks to the soul.

"Sea Fever" (John Masefield)

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky.
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.
And the wheel's kick and wind's song and the white sail's shaking.
And a gray mist on the sea's face and a gray dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
is a wild call and clearly a call that may not be denied.
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again to the vagrant gypsy life
To the gull's way and whale's way where the wind is like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

*Some of My Beauty Tips*

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it at least once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you will never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed: never throw out anybody.

Remember, that if you need a helping hand, you will find one at the end or your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows.

And the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.

*An Ode to Eddie - Finally at Peace*

"We can consciously end our life almost anytime we choose. This ability is an endowment - like laughing and blushing - given to no other animal....In any given moment, by not exercising the option of suicide, we are choosing to live".

I received a telephone call the other morning from a sweet young man who used to be my stepson when I was married to his father. He informed me that my ex-husband Eddie, had taken his own life, shooting himself with a pistol. Apparently, he had planned it, had even made arrangements with a funeral home for immediate cremation following his death. So sad and so unfair to his children, and to his grandchildren. Jeff and his siblings had no indication that their father planned on taking his own life so they were devastated and had many unanswered questions, as survivors always do when suicide is the cause of death. Eddie was not close to his children ever, he blamed it on a divorce from their mother; and we all know that is not a good reason not to see your children. Actually, Eddie had distanced himself from everyone, living alone and having nothing to do with his time. It's funny, but when someone dies, we forget the bad times we had with them, the arguments, disagreements, unkind words said in anger. We remember only the good things, the happy times we had together. Death is so forgiving, is it not?

"Death is more universal than life - everyone dies but not everyone lives."

I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on Eddie, I thought that he was incredibly handsome, which he was. We only dated for a very short time before getting married, which in retrospect, was a mistake. The marriage was good for the first couple of years, we did everything together, comfortable in each other's company. It didn't take me long to realize that Eddie had very few friends in his life. He was quite the loner, it took him a long time to form attachments for anyone. After several years I also noticed how he was interested in World War II, wishing that he had lived during that time. He lived so much in the past, he began to slowly lose interest in the future.

He hated socializing, preferring to stay at home, or be with me alone. He decided to retire at a very young age, wanted to move to Florida, which we had visited several times to see his parents. Loving Florida, I agreed. In hindsight, retiring was the worst possible thing for him to do. For a while, having a new home demanded a lot of his time, establishing a new lawn, making a rock garden and things like that. He went to every gun and knife show as well, he always had a fascination with firearms. He made our huge garage into a workroom, where he could work on his guns and knives. He even had a television in it. He would disappear into his workroom for hours at a time. It wasn't long before he began multiple somatic complaints about his health. This led us to doctor after doctor, test after test, to find out that nothing was physically wrong with him. I remember once, after a test when the doctor told him he was in perfect health, he broke down and cried, convinced that he was dying. He then began withdrawing more and more into himself and to shut me out. I was still working fulltime as a nurse and I knew that what he was suffering from was severe depression, but he wouldn't hear of that. I attributed this to early retirement without any plan for hobbies, projects or other outlets to occupy his time. I suggested that he get a parttime job to give himself something to look forward to. He would apply for a job, be hired, and at the last minute, decide not to take it. Doctors then prescribed Ativan to deal with his anxiety, what a mistake that was. He took large amounts of it, convincing himself that it was okay since the doctor prescribed it. He began to retreat ever more into himself, hiding money, isolating himself in his workroom and our marriage began to disintegrate,


"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live".

Unable to heal the marriage or Eddie, we decided to divorce. He moved back to Michigan and I remained in Florida for another 3 years before moving back. Just a year or so ago, I was shopping at a local mall. There was Eddie, sitting on a bench at the mall, people watching. Most likely, he was trying to kill time, having nothing else to do. He noticed me, and I began to smile, bearing no hard feelings. I intended to tell him about the different things that had occurred since I last saw him. He got up, walked away, totally ignoring me. I let it go, attributing it to his anger from the divorce and his habit of self-isolation.

The next thing I heard about Eddie was the fact that he had taken his own life. Initially, I was shocked. Then I began to think it through and was not surprised. He was never truly at peace with himself, formed few friendships and ever fewer loving relationships. He preferred living in the past to living in the present, having no appreciation for all of the joys around him. His children wanted his love, he rarely allowed it. He was emotionally vacant in his relationships with women, shutting them out, allowing no one in. I wish that he had dealt with his depression and loneliness instead of picking up a gun and killing himself. Too bad they can't put depression and loneliness as a cause of death.

Myself, I "will not go gently in that good night, I will rage, rage against the dying of the light" (Dylan Thomas) And I will, Eddie. I want to see every sunset, feel every morning breeze against my face, smell every fragrant flower, and hug my children and grandchildren close to my breast for as long as possible. Life is so precious and so incredibly short. I wish that you could have found that Eddie, so go peacefully into the night and find the peace in heaven that you could not find in your lifetime. You will be missed, and despite everything you tried to hide from, you were so loved.

*The Wind Has Shaken Autumn Down*

Wind has shaken autumn down,
left it sprawling on the ground,
shawling all in gold below,
waiting -
for
the
hush
of snow.

Walking through the autumn leaves
Scattered on the ground
Seeing the kaleidoscope
Of colors all around

Listening to the trees' song
As the wind comes rustling through...
May autumn's lovely magic
bring happiness to you.

The nicest bed that I know
Isn't a bed of soft white snow.
Isn't a bed of cool green grass
After the noisy mowers pass.
Isn't a bed of yellow hay
Making me itch for half a day
But autumn leaves in a pile that high,
Deep and smelling like fall and dry.
That's the bed where I like to lie
And watch the flutters of Fall go by.

*The Mist and All*

I love the fall, the mist and all.
I like the night owl's lonely call -
And wailing sound of wind around.

I love the gray November day,
And bare, dead boughs
That coldly sway against my pane.
I love the rain.

I love to sit and laugh at it -
And tend my cozy fire a bit.
I love the fall - the mist and all.

*Finding True Peace*

Once upon a time, there was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all of the pictures, but there were only two that he really liked and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm, serene lake. The lake was a perfect mirror, for peaceful, towering mountains were all around it. Overhead was a beautiful blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw the picture thought that it was the perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains also, but these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell, and in which lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. The king looked closely, behind the waterfall he saw a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush, a mother bird had her nest. There in the midst of all of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest.

The king chose the second picture as the winner. Can you guess why? "Because", explained the king, "peace means to be in the midst of things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of true peace".

It took me many years to realize that this is true in all of our lives. Calmness, peace and serenity are there if you just look for them. It is not the prettiest picture that wins the prize.

*What Kind of Day Shall I Have Today?*

Today, I could complain about the state of my health, or I can celebrate just being alive.

Today, I could moan that it is overcast and raining, or be joyful for all that grows from the rain.

Today, I could regret all of the things that I don't have or rejoice in everything that I do.

Today, I could mourn everything that I have lost, or eagerly accept what is to come.

Today I could complain that I have to work, or celebrate having a job to go to.

Today I can resent the mess that my house is, or give thanks that I have a family.

Today, I could whine about the housework, or celebrate having a home.

Today, I could cry over those who don't care for me, or be happy loving and being loved by those who do.

I choose to have a good day today!

*Miracles Are Everywhere*

Miracles are not only ecstatic visions or holy interventions visited upon the chosen few,

Every moment that we are alive is full of reasons to sing out in joyful gratitude.

Every breath we are given is a reminder that the glory of life is at hand,

In the people we love, in the beauty of nature, in the golden sun that rises each morning - miracles are everywhere.

Its not the amount of breaths that you take in this life, it's in the things that take your breath away!

*Be Thankful*

With Thanksgiving arriving soon, there are so many things to be thankful for:

Be thankful that you don't already have everything that you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times,
it is during these times that you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes,
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you are tired and weary,
It means that you have made a difference.

It's so easy to be thankful for the good things,
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those
Who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive,
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

*If You Think..........*

If you think you are beaten, you are:
If you think that you dare not, you don't.
If you would like to win, but think that you can't,
It's almost a cinch that you won't.

If you think you will lose, you are lost,
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will;
Its all in the state of our mind.

If you think that you are outclassed, you are:
You have to think high to rise.

You have got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.

LIfe's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later, the one who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.

(Walter D. Wintle)

*Acknowledge Your Enemies*

There is something positive to be gained by acknowledging one's enemies.

Like all of God's creatures, enemies do have a purpose in this world.

They offer a criticism of one's conduct (albeit unsought) that is not always provided by friends.

They also encourage self-esteem. How would we know the magnitude of our own worth without someone so worthless attacking it?

Or, as the Irish are so fond of saying "Better to know the devil that you do than the one that you don't".

*Getting To Know Me*

Recently many of my blogging friends have been tagging one another to post several different things about themselves that most people don't know. I have been tagged to take this challenge as well!

I was born at home in my parent's bedroom, my mother was scared to death to go to a doctor for her first confinement. I weighed 10 lbs, 13 ounces and my paternal grandmother was present at my birth. My mother had already chose my name to be Lynda Diane. She was overruled by my grandmother, who never had a girl child, and wanted me named Charlotte Diane, after her best friend.

I grew up in a small house on Simpson Street in Troy, Ohio and was literally worshiped by my paternal grandmother. I was the girl child that she had always wanted after birthing 4 sons, one of whom died. Then there was my uncle Andy, my uncle Jimmy and my dad, Stanley Eugene.

I can remember when we were small, my mother taking us fishing on the banks of the Ohio river. My mother loved to fish, us kids would sit on the banks of that river and watch her. The last time my Mom went fishing was at the age of 83 years old, while a patient at the nursing home that I worked at. In her wheelchair, with a big straw hat on, she said she had not had that much fun in years!

My birth was followed by that of my sister, Sandra Kay and my brother, Stanley Eugene, better known as Skipper - my Dad was in the marines and at sea when my brother was born. We lived in Ohio until I was 9 years old, then following my Dad to Michigan where he had obtained a job with Chrysler Corporation. The motor city had a lot more job opportunities than the small town we lived in, in Ohio.

One of the gifts that I treasured most in my life was the Christmas that I was 13, when my sweet father, on his own, went to the drugstore and bought me a set of Revlon "Queen of Diamonds" nailpolish and lipstick! It was Cunningham's drugstore and he bought it all by himself. It was bright red! My Daddy was so strict with me that I was so touched that he would pick this out and give it to me on Christmas day. I will never forget that! It was the best gift I have ever received.

I remember my first fiance asking for my hand in marriage. My dad said to him "just remember, she comes from very good stock". I miss my father so much sometimes, but I was blessed to have him as long as I did. For a gentlemen with only an 8th grade education, he was one of the most educated men I have had the pleasure to know. He taught me a great deal about life and priorities. I never did marry this guy, Richard Koch, a manager at the A & P grocery where I worked as a cashier, and he was manager of the meat department. This is the only guy that broke my heart. I wonder what he is doing with his life now?

My first job was at S.S. Kresges when I was barely 16 years old. I made cotton candy, snow cone and popcorn from my own little booth in the store. After that, I worked various jobs in banking and the legal secretary profession.

My father always wanted me to enter law enforcement and become a female police officer. At the time of my early years of employment, money was the biggest factor in the jobs I took. It was only in my later years that I realized that if you don't love what you do, all the money in the world will not make a difference.

All during my young years, I remained very close to my paternal grandmother. Every summer, after moving to Michigan, my Dad would drive me and my sister back to Ohio where I would spend the summer with my grandmother and my sister would stay with my Aunt Mary. I played most of the time with my cousins, both male and female. I can remember collecting paperdolls with my cousins Judy and Maryann! I can still smell the scent of that old store attic where I used to buy my paperdolls. Funny how we remember comforting scents. I remember walking to school as a very young girl, through the grass near the greenhouse with the fragrance of geraniums still a fond memory. Smells are so important to our memories, I will always love the fragrance of earth, geraniums and musty attics where paperdolls are kept for a young girl to purchase.

My grandmother died when I was 25 and I was literally heartbroken for years after that. Actually, my father predeceased her by 7 years dying when he was only 40. The loss of my Dad and then his mother affected me for a very long time.

I eventually became a nurse's aide because I loved caring for people. Soon I began admiring the nurses I worked with that dressed in white and wore their nursing caps. I went to my first nursing school when my 3 children were all young and became a Licensed Practical Nurse. I did that for many years - finally obtaining my RN degree at the young age of 50. I have never regretted becoming a nurse, but my second choice would have been to become a librarian. I would rather read than eat, sometimes.

I consider my greatest accomplishment in life as being the birth of my children. Each one is different, unique and as I age, they are my best friends. The greatest loss in my life was my daughter, Leslie in 2002. I doubt that I will ever get over the depth and pain of that loss. The pain literally brings you to your knees! Physical pain does not even begin to compare. To die would have been better than suffering the pain of that loss. However, over the years, I have learned to accept her death as something that God felt he needed to do.

I am glad that in my mother's final years, she and I were able to become close. We were very distant for a greater part of her life. In those later years, I became her caregiver and I think that was very important to her. The hardest decision I ever made was to have her removed from life support when her condition deteriorated. That is what she would have wanted, but it was extremely difficult.

I am not close to my siblings in my current life, there are so many unresolved issues that we could not seem to overcome. It is sad, but it is what it is. I wish them no harm, only happiness.

I would not change many things in my life, because even if there were painful times, there were also times of great joy. I believe that one learns through pain to appreciate the joy in life.

*What Is The Problem*

While watching the news this morning, I could not be more amazed about the uproar in the our senate yesterday between the Democrats and the Republicans! It is truly amusing to me that the Senate went into closed sessions to discuss the war in Iraq. The Republicans, of course, are livid that we should ever question the reason for this war. Unbelievable, there are over 2000 families of those killed in Iraq that would love to know if the loss of their son, daughter, wife or husband was worth the cost of this war in human lives.

I am glad that Democratic leader, Harry Reid stood up and said "they have repeatedly chosen to protect the Republican administration rather than get to the bottom of what happened and why". In my opinion, Mr. Reid is right on target with that statement.

With Mr. Bush's popularity falling rapidly, indictments being handed out to the White House personnel, the Republicans owe that to this country. What I cannot understand is why they become so upset and so defensive if the war is questioned? If we went to war for the right reasons, why would they not welcome an investigation? A bipartisan review is in order into the Senate Intelligence Committee's investigation into prewar intelligence.

They state that we are 'hijacking' the United States Senate by demanding that the truth be known! In my not so humble opinion, when a country as powerful as the US declares a war on a country, they better have damned good reason to do so. The cost of human lives and the billions of dollars to fund it are staggering. That is supposed to be the beauty of this country, the ability to question our government, to demand answers and to assert our right to freedom of speech.

Back in 2004, a 511 page report was submitted on flaws in Iraq intelligence assembled by the country's top analysts in 2002. A second look was promised into that report, it has not been done to date.

Mr. Reid's request for a closed session will refocus attention to the growing and continuing controversy over prewar intelligence. No weapons of mass destruction were ever found, no purchases of iranium were ever bought by Iraq from Africa, as our dear president said they had. Was intelligence twisted to promote the attack in Iraq? If it was not, what is the problem?

Our vice president's chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby was just indicted on 5 different counts over the leak of the identity of a CIA official married to an ambassador that investigated whether or not iranium had been purchased. That is downright nasty! Mr. Reid went on further to say " The Libby indictment provides a window into what this is really all about, how this administration manufactured and manipulated intelligence in order to sell the war in Iraq and attempted to destroy those who dared to challenge it's actions". He is right, if this administration has no fault, it will all come out in the end.

If we now live in a country where we are unable to investigate the decisions of our leaders who take us to war, we have lost many of our freedoms. Mrs. Wilson's outing as a CIA officer is one example of this, don't question your governments war choices or this could happen to you. We are close to becoming a nation of sheep with this administration and I cannot believe the people that blindly follow any decision made by this government. Thanks Mr. Reid for insisting on this investigation!

*All Of My Friendships*

For a greater part of my life, I believed that men and women could not develop a meaningful or satisfying friendship. I felt that if there even was an element of sexual attraction, or interest in one present, that the power of the genitals would overcome the gentleness of the heart. I had a very good friend named Tom in high school, who was gay and I consider him to have been the best friend I ever had. At the time, I didn't know he was gay and I didn't really care. We were the best of friends for years during junior high and high school. We did everything together and I never really questioned our lack of romantic interest in each other, we just loved being good friends. Today, I can honestly state that I believe that friendship between the sexes differs. I can only talk from my own perspective, and it is truly the case that men and women, for the most part, make different types of friends. Certainly, I have always had some wonderful male friends, who are up to par, if not better friends to me than women, but my generalization stands for the most part.

What is a friend, and what do we expect from them? To me, a friend is someone who cares for you unconditionally. Someone who is there for you during the good times, the mediocre times, and the difficult times as well. Throughout my lifetime, the men I have been involved with or married to, tend to run away from difficulties, either because of the inability or disability in being able to handle pain and be a source of true comfort. I am not saying that all men are like this, but the ones I have been involved were very limited and lacking in this area. I do have male friends who are the most compassionate and loving people, and in 99% of the male friends that I have, they are gay men! Do gay men make better friends then straight men? In my personal experience, Yes, they do. I also have known and worked with several lesbian women who were great, is this because they are women? I have had very few close friendships with women in my lifetime, there is always the issue of trust with them. My friend Judy, who has been through her own marriages and divorces as well as mine is my only loyal female friend. To have one good friend who is loyal and one you can count on is good.

I wonder if it is possible for men and women to be true friends? Are men different types of friends than women and do you have different expectations from friends of the same sex than of the opposite sex? Would you like your male friends to be the same as your friends? Does sexual orientation factor into the definition of what constitutes a good friend? I have pondered all of this and I am currently happy with the balance of gay men friends, some lesbian friends, and my dear Judy, who has been my friend for over 20 years. Frequently, I wonder what ever became of Tom, I will always treasure that friendship, it was priceless!!

*Mr. Bush Losing Ground in Second Term*

I have been carefully watching the decline of Mr. Bushs' second term over the past several weeks. These few weeks, as I see it, are plagued with difficulties and recently revealed lies and deception. He now faces fire and fallout over the role Karl Rove has played in leaking information regarding CIA agent, Valerie Plume, very possibly an indictment for him as well as Lewis Libby. Now, heavens to Betsy, we find out that the deception even enters the oval office with the current investigation of his own VP, Dick Cheney. Remember, Mr. Cheney, giving all of those speeches about our "need" to invade Iraq? We never found those weapons of mass destruction, and we never will, because they were not there. Iraq was not stowing away uranium as Mr. Cheney said it was either. When I was a young girl, my Dad instilled in me that when you told one lie, you would end up telling dozens to get out of the first lie. He was so right about that. He would be irate at our current administration if he were still alive. He considered politics high on his priority list as I do. He campaigned, watched the debates on television and never failed to vote. My apple has not fell far from that tree. I feel the same way, you have to be involved in current issues and government to assure that your children and grandchildren grow up in the most democratic society. To sweep everything under the rug and not deal with it has become dangerous in this country.
As if Mr. Bush did not already have enough on his plate, Mr. Bush is being grilled regarding his nomination of his close friend, and counsel, Harriet Miers, to the U.S. Supreme Court. Questions have ranged from Ms. Mier's political beliefs from members of his own party, to her lack of judicial experience as well. Ms. Miers has never been married, nor had children, yet she will be called upon to deal with very serious privacy issues about women, men and reproductive rights in her possible role as a Justice of the Supreme Court. I consider being nominated to the Supreme Court of our land an honorable position that one should qualify for with experience and maturity and the ability to be neutral in many controversial issues. I question, what the hell has Ms. Miers ever done to earn that privilege? Me thinks that being the personal friend of Mr. and Mrs. Bush is the only qualification. That would not be allowed in any other high position of power in this country. I personally don't care that she is their friend, she is being given a lifetime job wherein her opinions and decisions will affect my grandchildren. Lately, Mr. Bush has become even more arrogant and I didn't think that was possible. It's as if he thought to himself, "I can place anyone in the Supreme court that I want to, I am the boss of all of you".

Initially, Mr. Bush promised to fire anyone who "has leaked information". Now he is beginning to backpeddle and revise his words. He now indicates he will "fire anyone" who has commited a crime. He has taken the twisting of words to a new level.

I still see the destruction and little improvement in New Orleans. It has been over two months and he promised initially the rebuild the region quickly. CNN has reported several times that he seems to be in no hurry making good on that promise, even though he has visited it several times and tried to appear to care!

I am cautiously awaiting the findings and decisions by Mr. Fitzgerald, who is said to be neutral, honest, and a man who seeks out the truth, regardless of the outcome in indictments. I sure hope that is true. I want my faith restored in our system and justice. In all reality, I think that a good deal of it will be swept under the rug and covered up, somewhat like Watergate was for a while. This feeling is not because I am a lifelong Democrat, no, not at all. It is because I respect honesty and integrity. I want to see the issues of lying dealt with and the people responsible held accountable. I don't think that is an unreasonable hope.

This morning on the news, it was announced that the 2000th soldier had been killed in Iraq. The mother and sister of this young man spoke so proudly of him and his accomplishments. What a horrible honor, to be the 2000th soldier killed. I bet his mother would change that if she could go back in time. I wonder how she feels about the lies told to us about reasons to enter Iraq? The numbers will just keep climbing in my opinion, and that is so very sad.

*Good Manners Are Becoming Extinct*

I recently spent a week in Atlanta, Georgia with my son who lives there. It was a very relaxing week and a very thoughtful one. I love to relax and observe the world, people and things, a hobby of mine. While at my son's lovely house, I observed at how well he decorates it. His home is very clean, and cared for. It is in a cul-de-sac that is private and beautifully maintained. It is apparent that he has carefully thought about his furniture, his color scheme and the image that he wants to obtain. It is a home that you can relax in, gorgeously decorated yet comfortable. His kitchen is well stocked with nice dinnerware, lovely wineglasses, the latest, innovative cookbooks. His bedrooms are comfortable and luxurious, relaxing for sleep or to read. His landscaping is his pride and joy and it is apparent. He himself is well-groomed, he dresses well and prides himself in his work and his career . He drives a new Jeep, something that he has always wanted. He goes to great lengths to care for me, his mother, buying my plane tickets, planning my week, everything thought out and carefully planned. Where did all the time go? Where is that little boy who loved Snoopy, the dog, and had imaginary playmates? He has turned into a fine young man, with perfect manners, thoughtful and considerate to his family and his friends. I then began to pride myself in having raised children with manners, who take pride in their homes, their jobs, their families. All of this observation led me to observe the state of our society, where good manners are becoming extinct.

While waiting for my flight home from Atlanta, I began observing people. I decided to have a bite to eat at a restaurant in the airport. At a table near mine, there were two couples, the men dressed in well-cut suits and wearing ties, women trying to look like trophy wives, and succeeding. The men's haircuts were neat and even their fingernails were clean. The females sported the latest in the 'natural' look, which means that they are painted and polished to the hilt. Unfortunately, the conversation and off-color words bouncing from their table to mine belie the couples' appearance. They are packaged pretty, but underneath the facade is nothing but mud and muck.

In this age of egalitarianism, it is difficult to discern just who people really are by the cut of their clothes or the smell of their perfume. Money opens doors, of course, but money does not make for well-mannered people. A lot of people make big bucks, but barely know how to use a fork and knife correctly, let alone how to have a conversation without resorting to overused four-letter words to get their point across.

There are far too many self-centered idiots around. We see them everywhere. While waiting for my luggage in Michigan, a middle aged man brushed past me to get to another turnstile almost knocking me over. An elderly gentlemen looked at me and shook his head and said "whatever happened to excuse me, and sorry"? People are now brash, impatient and totally not self-conscious, a lot like spoiled three-year-olds. They yell at the top of their voices at two in the morning as they walk the halls of a hotel, waking everyone sleeping in the rooms that they pass. They are pushy, disrepectful - and totally unaware of anyone but themselves.

We have been sending our young out into the world totally void of any politeness or manners with only the goal of making the big bucks as their mantra. They haven't a clue how to act in social circumstances. They think the world is theirs because they can pay the bill, or their parents can. If they can't pay, they go bankrupt and stick everyone else with the cost of their overindulgences.
Maybe there are some who don't understand the reason behind teaching good manners to their young. The reason is so simple. A polite society is a peaceful society. The world is getting to be an ever more crowded place. Anyone who has done the tourist thing in the past several years can attest to the fact that more people are everywhere and the crowds are becoming crasser as the years go by.

Once dinner in a fine restaurant meant quiet conversations, respect for the people at nearby tables and background noise kept to a decent level. These days, eating out means blaring music, people at the next table who don't know how to keep their voices down and no knowledge of what real luxury means. These are folks with a 'bigger means better' attitude. We are now in the 'me generation' grown up into the obnoxious generation.

Once children learned how to behave in public in the privacy of their homes, I did and my children did as well, as will their children. But in these days of being 'too busy to let my child out of the stroller while I do my power walk', it's all about the parents, who want to stay young forever and fail to take on their responsibilities as parents. I see that so much in my career as a psychiatric RN who works in Adolescent Psych. Children need exercise too, mental and physical, but some parents think it's all about them, not the child. We are in the age of Peter Panism.

Successful consultants to large corporations make their livlihood teaching manners to executives on their way up the corporate highway. But, why wait until the child is a man or a woman to teach them how to get along socially in the world? Perhaps the solution to the ugly American syndrome night be a serious course of learning at Harvard or Yale or at our local grade schools. The benefits to all of us who would like a return to graciousness would be a kinder and gentler world, something we desperately need.

As I observe my children, my grandchildren, I am so proud of their manners, their courtesy to others, their love of fine things and their kindness. If I never did another thing in my life to be proud of, of this, my well-mannered children, I shall be eternally grateful for.

*Daughter, I Am So Proud Of You*

Recently, I realized just how proud I am of my daughter and the values that she holds. When you raise your children, you try to instill in them values that you hope will guide them through major issues in their lives and yours. You never really know what 'takes' and what doesn't until they are presented with issues that will govern the decisions they make.

A little over a week ago, my daughter's lovely little shelty dog, Baxter, was severely injured by a rottweiler that belonged to their neighbor. The rottweiler was no match for this young shelty that was a delight to my daughter and her family. He grabbed the little dog after trespassing on my daughter's property, her porch to be exact. and shook the little dog within an inch of his life! I was in Atlanta visiting her brother at the time, and my daughter called me after the fact and was truly concerned as to whether her Baxter would live or not. She had horrible feelings of guilt about not interrupting the attack and attempting to remove the larger dog from her shelty. I assured her that she. herself, could have been injured in attempting to intervene. Nevertheless, she has suffered a horrible form of post-traumatic stress reliving the incident in her mind affecting her sleep and her eating. Fortunately, the owner of the dog, responded to her screams and pleas for help and he and his son pulled the rottweiler off of her dog. The damage was done though, and the sheltie suffered horrible injuries that have thus far involved 3 surgeries to repair his torn flesh and God only knows the trauma he has suffered emotionally. Such a sweet little dog, he has fought so hard to live in spite of his injuries. Before the second surgery, my daughter called me regarding the expense she and her family would incur with relation to Baxter, possible over $5000.00 that they might not recoup from a lawsuit against the owner of the rottweiler. She loved this little dog so much and some people were advising her that because of the expense she should have the dog put down. I didn't want to unfavorably influence her with the wrong advice, but with my strong love for this dog, any animal really, I advised her to follow her heart and do what she thought was right. I then hung up the phone and sobbed wishing that I could write a check for this loveable little dog even though my income is so limited. I vowed that I would support her regardless of her decision. I anxiously awaited her call and when she did call, she said, "Mom" I am so glad that I talked to you, I have decided to go ahead and get Baxter the treatment that he needs. I was never so proud of my daughter as I was in that moment and I hung up the phone and said to myself, "I must have done something right in my lifetime" to have such wonderful children as she and her brother. They value what is truly irreplaceable, unconditional love from their pets and their families. Moments like this make you happy to be their parents, they really do. This little dog is not even 2 years old and he has given so much to all of us, his family, that he deserves our love and support during his time of need. Thank you god for this little guy, and for my daughter, who places his love and devotion as it should be. I am proud to be her mother!

*Thoughts Of Winter Coming*

It's time to think of winter,
Now while the sun
is warm enough
to melt the morning mist
And the wind
rustles leaves
still green from summer.

It's time to gather in
the days we grew together,
harvest the hours we raised,
and put them up in love
for safekeeping against the cold.
So that no matter what we give away
We'll have enough to see the fields......come Spring.

*People In and Out of Our Lives*

People important to you,
People unimportant to you cross your life,
Touch it with love or carelessness and move on.

There are people who leave you and
you breathe a sigh of relief and
Wonder why you ever came into contact with them.

There are people who leave you
And you breathe a sigh of remorse, and
Wonder why they had to go away and
Leave such a gaping hole.

Children leave parents, friends leave friends,
acquaintances move on.
People grow apart.

Friends love and move on,
You think of the many who have moved into
Your hazy memory.
You look at those present and wonder.

I believe in God's master plan,
He moves people in and out of each other's lives,
And each leaves his mark on the other.

You find you are made up of bits and pieces
Of all who ever touched your life.
You are more because of it,
And you would be less if they had not touched you.

Pray God, that you accept the bits and pieces in humility and wonder.
Never question and never regret.

*True Success*

I hope that my achievements in life shall be these:
That I will have fought for what was right and fair,
That I will have risked for that which mattered.
That I will have given help to those who were in need.
That I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)



To laugh often and love much;
To win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of oneself;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiam and sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived -
this is to have succeeded. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

I was thinking about success this morning as I was reading one of my nursing journals that I receive monthly. I remember using Mr. Emerson's beautiful poetry back in the 70's to describe in an essay we had to write in nursing school. We had to describe why we wanted to be nurses; what did we hope to achieve in our careers? This was a paper for my instructor, Miss Barbara Bailey, RN, who I wanted so much to emulate as a nurse. As I review this beautiful poem now, I can safely say that I have, for the most part, achieved it.

*What Life is About*

Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have
Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend,
Or if you are alone.

It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date,
How many people you've dated,
Or if you haven't been with anyone at all.

It isn't about who you have kissed,
It isn't about who your family is
or how much money they have
Or what kind of car you drive
Or where you went to school.

It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on
Or what kind of music you listen to.

It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown,
Or if your skin is light or dark.
Not about what grades you get, how smart you are,
How smart everyone else thinks you are,
Or how smart standardized tests say you are.

It's not about what clubs you are in
Or how good you are at sports.

It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper
and seeing who will accept "the written you."

Life just isn't...................................

Life is about who you love and who you hurt
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposely.
It's about keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or as a weapon.

It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
It's about starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.

It's about what judgments you pass and why,
And who your judgments are spread to.

It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention,
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love,
Letting it grow and spreading it.

But most of all, it's about using your life
To touch or poison other people's hearts
In such a way that could have never occurred alone.

Only you choose the way those hearts are affected,
And those choices are what life's all about.