I once read that forgiveness could be taught, and that one of the biggest steps in the process meant becoming resistant to taking offense. I also read that this step was the most difficult part of becoming a forgiving person, but that it was possibly the most powerful. Easier said than done, I told myself. Then I thought about it recently and thought about ways one could think about not being offended, and decided I would try it. These are the steps I am going to follow to achieve that end:
*Since I am not perfect, how can I expect anyone else to be, and do I?
*Life is short and I want to waste as little of my life as possible in the discomfort caused by anger or hurt. I want to react well when things don't go the way I want. This decision allows me to forgive myself, forgive others, and even forgive life itself when necessary.
*Life comes with both positive and unpleasant experiences. Can I reasonably expect to have only good experiences come my way? I hope for the good and know I can forgive the bad.
*Dealing with life is a challenge. I want to be a survivor and not a victim. Each hurtful situation challenges my determination to live as fully and lovingly as possible. I accept the challenge that it sends my way.
*I know it hurts when people do not forgive me. I don't want to hurt others in this way, so I will perceive the problem in a way that I can either deal with successfully, or let it go.
*Life is filled with beauty and incredible marvels. I am missing these experiences if I am stuck in the remembrance of old hurts or wounds. I forgive myself for getting sidetracked.
*People do the best they can. When they err, the best way to help them is by offering some understanding. The first step in this process is to forgive whatever constituted the specific offense.
*I understand that everyone, including me, operates primarily out of self-interest. I respect that sometimes I, in my self-interest, will be hurt by someone elses' expression of their self-interest. When I begin to understand that this is an ordinary part of life, what is there to be upset about? When I grasp that self-interest is my guiding priniciple, how can I not offer the forgiveness to everyone, including myself, for behaving that way?
This is my mantra and I hope it works, the hardest person to forgive has always been myself
