One reaction to the growing presence of cyberspace is to see it as a threat to the traditional human value of social, face to face exchange. Yet, this is... nothing to be alarmed about, for it is the eagerness to communicate and the desire to be heard by another that activate those fingers. The fact is that when we use computers we are having an exchange with other humans, through the machine, not 'with the machine'.
Sometimes I think that the telephone call is as earthbound as daily dialogue, while a letter is an exchange of gifts. On the telephone, you talk; in a letter you tell. There is a pace to letter writing and reading that doesn't come from the telephone company but from your own rhythm.
We live mostly in a hi-tech, reach-out-and-touch-someone modern world. Communication is an industry. It makes demands of us. We are expected to respond as quickly as computers. A voice asks a question across the ocean and we are supposed to formulate an answer to this high-speed rate of exchange.
But we can not, blessedly, 'interface' by mail. There is a leasure and emotional luxury in letter writing. There are no obvious silences to anxiously fill. There are no interruptions to brook. There are no nuances and tones of voice to distract.
Today, we are supposed to travel light, to live in the moment. The past is, we are told, excess baggage. There is no question that the phone is the tool of these times. As fine and as epheremal as a good meal.
But you cannot hold a call in your hands. You cannot put it in a bundle. You cannot show it to your family. Indeed, there is nothing to show for it. It doesn't leave a trace. Tell me how you can wrap a lifetime of phone calls in a rubber band for a summer's night when you want to remember?
I was born to catch dragons in their dens,
and to pick flowers...
And to tell tales and laugh away the morning
to drift and dream like a lazy stream
And to walk barefoot across sunshine days and beautiful sand beaches..........
All of my life, I have been attracted to and loved lighthouses. In my greatest fantasy, I would visit all of the lighthouses in the USA just to see them. I can't explain my fascination with them, only that I love them and they make me feel secure and safe.
What makes someone sacrifice to keep ships safe from rocks and ice to warn of dangers in the night.
What makes a Keeper of the Light?
What causes one to spend his life patrolling waters that are rife with perils to which we are blind.
What creates a man of this kind?
While I sleep safely in my bed, what drives him to keep watch instead guarding all - both rich and poor from hazards near the darkened shore?
Is he fearless, it would seem, facing facts while we all dream? And, is he ever feels a doubt. his courage casts the shadows out.
With no regard to his well-being, his light shines, enables seeing and ensuring safety from hidden fears with unflagging strength through the years.
What makes him do the unselfish deeds? What keeps him strong, what are his needs to always do what is right?
What makes a Keeper of the Light?
He shines the beacons through the dark, in solitude proclaims, "take warning" for beneath these seas danger still remains.
He guides the vessels past shifting shoals, by shallow jagged reefs with quenchless flame throughout the night to a harbor snug and deep.
He rings the bell, sounds the horn, keeps vigil through the night.
Who is the humble seasoned salt?
The Keeper of the Light?
I have never been one to make resolutions, lose weight, quit bad habits, etc; all those things that are so easily demolished before January is even over. I do, however, make goals after my in-depth life review and soul search.
I wish I could say that I will join a gym, exercise faithfully, but I am not going to. I will be more aware of health issues and work on those. I am going to my doctor's visits more often and taking my medication and following their advice. I worked for years and years with my goal of someday becoming a full-fledged 'couch potato' and I am finally there. I do have a flight of stairs to my condo that are climbed daily and I also consider the use of the remote control as a form of exercise. I don't follow any specific diet and cave on certain things I consider 'comfort foods' but I am not yet morbidly obese, so that's a plus.
I am now working with the adolescents at least 3 nights per week because I want to, because they give me love, they give me pleasure and I love what I do. I like to think that this is why I became a nurse and my job is rewarding and fulfilling, like no other area of nursing has been. It's nice to work at something you love because you want to, not because you have to.
I am still greatly attuned with my country and the political world. I am anxious for the next election in 2008 and will campaign religiously and passionately. It is so important, especially with the state of world events we are currently in, to elect the right people. People that will take accountability for their actions, their decisions and turn this country around. Our freedom as a country is in great jeopardy and we are losing what it took many lives to attain. People are afraid to express opinions, to dissent, fearing they will be called unpatriotic. They are afraid to question, fearing retribution and this has to stop. It is urgent because my grandchildren will inherit the decisions that this country is making now.
My inability to be a patient person, that I was going to work on at the beginning of 2006, has went by the wayside, but I will try again this year. Sometimes, I justify impatience as a good thing because impatient people get things done. But recently, my impatience has caused internal anger issues and that has to stop, it's not good for your heart really. I hope to, at least, be more tolerant of idiots this year and to recite in my head "forgive them, they know not what they do" and let it go. Kind of like a mantra, if you will.
I will continue to look at my behavior as I have always been one who wears her heart on her sleeve. I will try to appear calm, cool and collected, even when I'm not. I will take stock of what needs to be done or undone. To me, this type of inventory taking is a daily process, wherein I look at myself, and try to make changes in my behavior rather than in the other persons. Ultimately, I have the choice of whether to have a good day or a bad one, the decision is mine.
I will work on thinking before I speak, because sometime's the 'mind filter' doesn't work and things are said before thought out. I will try to express myself wisely, being motivated by a kind heart and genuine offer to be good to others. I am this way, really, I just don't think before I speak, but I mean no harm.
I will take time to think before writing words, acknowledging the power of words, and using them wisely, with integrity. Words can hurt, they can become rocks and arrows if you let them.
I will remember the commandment to 'love thy neighbor as thyself', trying not to feel superior to others, to know the meaning of humility and what it means to show kindness and compassion.
To remind myself daily how blessed I truly am, because I am.
Due to my work, I was unable to post on my blog my feelings about the year of 2006, but, better late than never.
I have mixed emotions about 2006, and in general, think that I do better in odd-numbered years when I evaluate unhappiness and loss. My relationship with David ended, and I am a much better person for it, but I hate being deceived. Why is honesty and integrity so hard for some people? But, I am older and wiser now and find being alone is what I really am happy with. I am content, able to fill my time with hobbies, work, family and have no spare time, really. I am disappointed with friendship overall, but I have decided that I am a better friend than my friends are to me, that's just the way it is.
Thank heavens there were not more of the natural disasters that occurred in 2005. The hurricane season this year was essentially mild and with minimal damage. The sad thing is that the area affected by Katrina is still almost as bad as it was after the hurricane. Billions of dollars have been misappropriated or unaccounted for. Thousands of people were uninsured and are now homeless and jobless. It was interesting to me that recently millions of dollars was spent on the recovery of 4 climbers who attempted to climb Mt. Hood in inclimate weather knowing the risks involved. Misplaced priorities, if you ask me.
The Iraq death toll is now over 3000, this makes my heart weep. Our president has been told by the Iraq Study Group that this war is not worth the cost in lives and dollars. He responds with 'troop increases' and 'sacrifice' and has delayed, dawdled and deferred for over a month since the release of this report. Personally, I feel that Iraq will make Vietnam look like a walk in the park when all is said and done. Billions of dollars more are now needed for his 'surge and accelerate' campaign with 20,000 more troops needed
as a 'short-term measure'. This addition will just be more target practice for the insurgents, in my opinion. Mr. Bush, your judgment about Iraq - and now about 'sacrifice' is at variance with your citizen's, to the point of delusion.
I was happy that Donald Rumsfelt was finally asked to resign but then honored by the Bush Administration for his dedication to his country. There is still no decision on the CIA leak and no one brought to justice over that incident, although Scooter Libby has been endicted.
Several passings in 2006 were noted. The Godfather of soul, James Brown, died on Christmas Day and he will be missed. One of a kind. I loved his funeral though; it was a celebration with all of his friends and family singing, dancing, eulogizing, he would have loved it and it was so fitting. My friends who know that I am a diehard Democrat will be surprised when I say I was so sad at the passing of Gerald R. Ford. Gerald Ford was a politician like no other. His greatest aspiration was to be Speaker of the House, and he wound up President. He came into office with a plateful of problems and a wounded nation due to Vietnam and Watergate, but he turned this around with integrity and honesty. He made the White House a place where secrets didn't live as they had in the Nixon administration and today in the Bush administration. He pardoned Richard Nixon even though it was unpopular and destroyed any chance at re-election so that this country could heal. Only now are people realizing what a well-thought decision that was. He was a man of great vision and fairness. He once said that he was a Ford, not a Lincoln. Mr. President, you sell yourself short because you were better than a Lincoln, you were a Lexus and history will be kind to you.
OJ Simpson tried to publish a book this year titled "If I Did It" but due to bad press and outrage by the public, it was canceled. I cannot believe this man, but he is so self-absorbed and narcissistic that he can't go without public adoration for any length of time, and he has. I feel deeply sorry for his children, what they must have to live with. I grieve for the parents of both Nicole and Ron and what this has done by reopening old wounds. Mr. Simpson will answer for his crimes, just not in this life.
Saddam Hussein was executed shortly after he was proven guilty by his own people. Some people danced in the streets and celebrated. Saddam is only the tip of the iceberg and was an old man with dementia. Yes, he was evil, but there are many who will follow. Is our country safer now? There are already protests about how his death was handled. Somehow, Osama Bin Laden hasn't been mentioned for quite some time. Are we still looking for him, or has our 'mission' been 'accomplished' as our president would say. The Middle East has become a much more dangerous area than anyone ever thought it would be. I am very fearful of my children's and grandchildren's future with regard to the Middle East.
I am still working on 'staying in the moment' being able to relish, cherish and live each day as it comes in the best way possible. I am to soon become a great-grandmother and I am so looking forward to that. I will look back on 2006 as a bittersweet year, but one of redemption and freedom, a realization of what my priorities are and what makes me a better person, again without regret, say goodbye and let it go.
I am confident that it is God's will that 2007 will bring about union rather than division in this country, and hopefully peace in other parts of the world.
