Wednesday, June 25, 2008

*HOW DO YOU LOVE?* by Collective Soul


"How Do You Love?"
There once was love thrown into your room
But you never knew
A calendar of days just for you
But you never knew, never knew no
And the truth that you'll find will always be
The truth you hide
So how do you love, how do you love
When your angels can't sing, and your world is still
Lacking of me
There once were eyes that only saw you
But you never knew
A portrait of a flower in full bloom
But you never knew, never knew no
And the words that you fear will always be
The words you hear
This space where you've been living
Has gifts you've never given
That's the face you always show
Ask me for words of wisdom
Tell me of your condition
I don't know,
I don't
I don't know
And the truth that you'll find will always be
The truth you hide

*FORGIVENESS* by Collective Soul


"Forgiveness"
In my silence I would love to forget
But restitution hasn't come quite yet
And with one accord
I keep pushing forth
I stretch my heart to heal some more
It used to be all I'd want to learn
Was wisdom trust and truth
But now all I really want to learn
Is forgiveness for you
As my seasons change
I've now grown to know
When one's heart creates, one's soul doesn't owe So I wash away stains of yesterday
Then tempt my heart with love's display

*MAYBE* by Collective Soul......


"Maybe"
The sky now divides
To bring you back into the fold
Welcome home
Still my need to recognize
Any comfort you may show
Only grows
Guess I'll learn to accommodate
While my heart just sits and waits
Maybe God you found
Maybe is all that you can offer now
Where am I to take refuge
When the storms of pain release
Shelter me
This blessedness of life
Sometimes brings me to my knees I call on thee
I have not the words to write
A Farewell to you tonight
Maybe God you found
Maybe is all that you can offer now
I know hearts are weeping
While your voice is now singing
On high, angel on high

*SHE SAID* by Collective Soul


She said that time is unfair
To a woman her age
Now that wisdom has come
Everything else fades
She said she realizes
She's seen her better days
She said she can't look back
To her days of youth
What she thought were lies
She later found was truth
She said her daddy had dreams
But he drank them away
And her mother's to blame
For the way she is today
Life's river shall rise
She Said
And only the strong shall survive
She Said
But I'm feeling quite weak
She Said
Will you comfort and forgive me
She Said
She said she's still searching
For salvation's light
She said she wishes all day
And she prays all night
She said she won't speak of love
Because love she's never known
She said it's moments like these
She hates to be alone
Forgive me
She Said
Forgive me
She Said

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

*ADDITION BY SUBTRACTION* Sometimes less is more.....


There comes a time in everyone's life when they must reevaluate things. For some it is their career path or material possessions. For others, it is their choice in friends or bonds with family. For me, this past year, it has been a little of everything.
I have spent a better part of the past year taking a very close look at many aspects of my life and deciding to listen to my inner voice of what is important and really "necessary". Sometimes it was a faint whisper, but at other times the voice was screaming, yearning to be heard. It is hard sometimes not to listen to others, and to listen to your true inner voice. It is definitely not the easier road to follow your heart and listen to that voice, but sooner or later it is the road we all learn to take.
Everything we see on television or in magazines leads us to believe that the more we have, the happier we will be. We see pictures of cars, jewelry, beautiful people having a great time, great homes, great lives, and that is supposed to make us believe that we should buy whatever it is that they are selling. We buy things to fill our souls even if it is emptying our wallets. We keep friends around to keep us company because sometimes it is easier to be in a crowded room than it is to sit alone, even if, while in the crowd, we still feel lonely. We do whatever we are "supposed to" and what is expected of us. We do what is easy. We are taught that it is better to be skinnier, richer of busier than we can or want to be.
Eventually, something happened to me.
I got tired.
I got tired of living up to other people's perceptions of what is right and what is good. I started to add things up mentally in my mind, a certain kind of "life math", if you will. I had never done that before. I started to think about money, friends, commitments, work and more. It seemed the more I tried to do, the less time I had for myself. I tried to work, have a social life, a love life, and still do the daily chores I needed to "keep up". I tried to ignore that I needed to take care of myself. At the end of the day there was no time left for me or the simple things I enjoyed. The time and energy it took just to keep up with everything and everyone else was becoming not worth it. I began to realize that the more I "subtracted" from my life, the more I actually "added" to it. I am proud to say that the more I found ways to simplify, the happier I was, and am. I now spend my time only keeping in touch with friends who keep in touch with me. The less friends I have, the happier I have become because I am able to truly focus on the relationships that matter and the people that support me. I have learned to pick and choose 1 or 2 outings a week. I have learned to schedule a time to just relax because that is just as important as anything else to leading a full life.
In the past, I worked incredible amounts of overtime to find the money to buy things I did not need, extra clothes, makeup or other material things. I was running myself ragged and didn't want to notice that my health, emotional and physical, was suffering. What was my time and energy worth? Why was I working for these things, that in the end, do not matter. My time is much better spent on things my heart wants to do like read, write, open my artistic self by crocheting, painting my altered art, scrapbooking, watching my vast selection of DVDs, listening to my music, playing with my cats, etc. I was making a nice living, but was I living a nice life?
Now, I spend my whole day trying to decide what I want to do first. I watch the morning news, being a news junkie, I plan my day, then I get dressed. I have then to decide whether it will be a day to read, a day to enjoy my movies, a day to indulge my artistic side in crocheting, making altered art, painting or scrapbooking, sailing the internet, doing a few chores and just relaxing and watching my favorite television programs. There truly are not enough hours in the day to do everything I enjoy. It is so important to enjoy the simple things you like. If your heart and soul aren't happy and healthy, then your body will not be healthy either. I have genuinely felt better the less stress I have in my life. I am happy, I am content; there is no doubt there is a connection.
I know that if the laundry doesn't get done one day, the dishwasher doesn't get unloaded, it is okay. No one is keeping score if your bed is made or your socks match. I have learned that no one really cares how expensive your outfit is, or even if it was bought "this season". There are no extra points in heaven for how clean your house is. The only reward at the end of the day is how happy you are and I am much happier with less............

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

*SCENTS & SENSABILITIES* Part Two or Andy Warhol


To continue with my love of fragrance, below is directly quoted from the wonderful Andy Warhol's thoughts on scent and fragrance.
"Another way to take up space is with perfume. I really love wearing perfume. I'm not exactly a snob about the bottle a cologne comes in, but I am impressed with a good-looking presentation. It gives you confidence when you're picking up a well-designed bottle.People have told me that the lighter your skin, the lighter the color perfume you should use. And vice-versa. But I can't limit myself to one range. (Besides, I'm sure hormones have a lot to do with how a perfume smells on your skin--I'm sure the right hormones can make Chanel No. 5 smell very butch.)I switch perfumes all the time. If I've been wearing one perfume for three months, I force myself to give it up, even if I still feel like wearing it, so whenever I smell it again it will always remind me of those three months. I never go back to wearing it again; it becomes part of my permanent smell collection.Sometimes at parties I slip away to the bathroom just to see what colognes they've got. I never look at anything else--I don't snoop--but I 'm compulsive about seeing if there's some obscure perfume I haven't tried yet, or a good old favorite I haven't smelled in a long time. If I see something interesting, I can't stop myself from pouring it on. But then for the rest of the evening, I'm paranoid that the host or hostess will get a whiff of me and notice that I smell like somebody-they-know.Of the five senses, smell has the closest thing to the full power of the past. Smell really is transporting. Seeing, hearing, touching, tasting are just not as powerful as smelling if you want your whole being to go back for a second to something. Usually I don't want to, but by having smells stopped up in bottles, I can be in control and can only smell the smells I want to, when I want to, to get the memories I'm in the mood to have. Just for a second. The good thing about a smell-memory is that the feeling of being transported stops the instant you stop smelling, so there are no aftereffects. It's a neat way to reminisce.My collection of semi-used perfumes is very big by now, although I didn't start wearing lots of them until the early 60's. Before that the smells in my life were just whatever happened to hit my nose by chance. But then I realized I had to have a kind of smell museum so certain smells wouldn't get lost forever. I loved the way the lobby of the Paramount Theater on Broadway used to smell. I would close my eyes and breathe deep whenever I was in it. Then they tore it down. I can look all I want at a picture of that lobby, but so what? I can't ever smell it again. Sometimes I picture a botany book in the future saying something like, "The lilac is now extinct. Its fragrance is thought to have been simliar to--?" and then what can they say? Maybe they'll be able to give it as a chemical formula. Maybe they already can.I used to be afraid I would eventually run through and use up all the good colognes and there'd be nothing left but things like "Grape" and "Musk." But now I've been to the profumerias of Europe and seen all the colognes and perfumes they have there, I don't worry any more.I get very excited when I read advertisements for perfume in the fashion magazines that were published in the 30's and 40's. I try to imagine from their names what they smelled like and I go crazy because I want to smell them all so much:Guerlain's: "Sous le Vent"Lucien Le Long's: "Jabot," "Gardenia," "Mon Image," "Opening Night"Price Matchabelli's: "Princess of Wales," in memory of AlexandraCiro's: "Surrender," "Reflexions"Lentheric's: "A Bientot," "Shanghai," "Gardenia de Tahiti"Worth's: "Imprudence"Marcel Rochas': "Avenue Matignon," "Air Jeune"D'Orsay's: "Trophee," "Le Dandy," "Toujours Fidele," "Belle de Jour"Coty's: "A Suma," "La Fougeraie au Crepuscule" (Fernery at Twilight)Corday's: "Tzigane," "Posession," "Orchidee Bleue," "Voyage a Paris"Chanel's: brisk "Cuir de Russie" (Russian Leather); romantic "Glamour"; melting "Jasmine"; tender "Gardenia"Molinelle's: "Venez Voir"Houbigant's: "Countryclub," "Demi-Jour" (Twilight)Bonwit Teller's: "721"Helena Rubinstein's: "Town," "Country"Weil's: Eau de Cologne "Carbonique"Kathleen Mary Quinlan's "Rhythm"Lengyel's (pronounced "len-jel"): "Imperiale Russe"Chevalier Garde's: "H.R.R.," "Fleur de Perse," Roi de Rome"Saravel's: "White Christmas"When I'm walking around New York I'm always aware of the smells around me: the rubber ats in office buildings; upholstered seats in movie theaters; pizza; Orange Julius; espresso-garlic-oregano; burgers; dry cotton tee-shirts; neighborhood grocery stores; chic grocery stores; the hot dogs and sauerkraut carts; harware store smell; stationery store smell; souvlaki; the leather and rugs at Dunhill; Mark Cross, Gucci; the Moroccan-tanned leather on the streetracks; new magazines, back-issue magazines; typewriter stores; Chinese import stores (the mildew from the freighter); India import stores; Japanese import stores; record stores; health food stores; soda-foundation drugstores; cut-rate drugstores; barber shops; beauty parlors; delicatessens; lumber yards; the wood chairs and tables in the N.Y. Public Library; the donuts, pretzels, gum and grape soda in the subways; kitchen appliance departments; photo labs; shoe stores; bicycle stores; the paper and printing inks in Scribner's, Brentano's, Doubleday's, Rizzoli, Marboror, Bookmasters, Barnes and Noble; shoe-shine stands; grease-batter; hair pomade; the good cheap candy smell in the front of Woolworth's and the dry-goods smell in the back; the horses by the Plaza Hotel; bus and truck exhaust; architects' blueprints; cumin, fenugreek, soy sauce, cinnamon; fried platanos; the train tracks in Grand Central Station; the banana smell of dry cleaners; exhausts from apartment house laundry rooms; East Side bars (creams); West Side Bars (sweat); newspaper stands; record stores; fruit stands in all the different seasons--strawberry, watermelon, plum, pleach, kiwi, cherry, Concord grape, tangerine, murcot, pineapple, apple--and I love the way the smell of each fruit gets into the rough wood of the cratees and into the tissue-paper wrappings."
_____________________________________Warhol, Andy. Andy Warhol The Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B and Back Again). Orlando, Florida: Harcourt, Inc., 1975, pp. 150-153.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

*SCENTS & SENSABILITIES*


People that know me well know that my favorite addiction is my love of fragrance, or 'scents' if you will. I maintain at least 100 bottles or more at a time and cherish each one of them. I belong to several online boards where all we discuss is fragrance, or our love of scent. We consider it a true gift to be able to detect the right notes in fragrance and appreciate our olfactory sense more than any other.
Recently on one of the threads we discussed our favorite smells, not only perfume interests us. I love how my friends describe the scents they love and appreciate. Without naming anyone, I am going to list some of the scents that we all love and appreciate:
Tobacco curing in the barns in the fall...
Catalpa trees in bloom, and why has no one used that bloom in perfume?
The original Coppertone lotion, the smell of summer and the beach...
The smell of jet exhaust mixed with the brewing coffee in the forward cabin of an aircraft. This is especially loved by those who travel and is so calming when one is boarding a plane.
Certain hotels (especially if they have a pool). The mixture of chlorine with the 'standard issue' smell a hotel environment gives off. This creates a sense of 'crispness' in one.....
Department stores. The smell of new merchandise mixed with the environment in general of the store is captivating. Stores such as Lord & Taylor or Marshall Field's store in New York City. This could be related to the fact that the makeup/skincare/fragrance counters are near the entry points in these stores, making a good impression on a hot and humid day. You can detect the smell better than because it is amplified with the air conditioning.
Libraries, old paper, new paper, so many books, such richness! No place smells as good as the library.
From long ago, freshly inked paper from the old ditto machines, those slick white pages with the purple writing. Takes one immediately back to childhood...
The fresh smell of country roads on a summer evening.
The smell when it first starts raining in spring, summer or fall in New Orleans. Sitting out on the covered deck when one has lit a fresh cigar and sips good wine. In early spring the rain would gently type upon the roses and tea olive trees in bloom. Many of these roses wer heavily fragranced old rose varieties such as Souvenier de Malmaison. One enjoyed the smells of soft rain, palm trees, osmanthus, various herbs and mint, roses and fresh tobacco. In winter, one could smell the smoky bald cypress tree scent. The air around New Orleans wasn't brisk and salty as sea air but there was a slight wafting of oceanic salt air off Lake Ponchartrain. In the background there was a soft smell from wet Spanish moss........
The smell of walking into an indoor swimming pool environment, clean chlorine.
The smell of the air before a springtime rain shower/thunderstorm, I love this smell...
The smell of the earth on a sod farm on a warm Florida morning. I have literally stopped the car and just sniffed this gorgeous fragrance.....
Freshly fallen rain on concrete......
A greenhouse, with freshly watered geraniums. I smelled this every morning on my walk to school as a young child and it is my favorite memory, ever..........
Freshly line-dried, crisp bed sheets.....
The smell of a newborn babie's head/hair, or skin.....
The smell of burning leaves in the fall........
The smell of a campfire in a pine forest. Variation: add the smell of coffee made on that campfire and maybe bacon too....
The Atlantic ocean. Brine and seaweed and fish and moist, fresh air....
The melange of scents wafting from a hippie head shop, patchouli, etc........
Smell from childhood of the inside of a purse: mint gum, lipstick, perfume.
The smell of fresh orange blossoms from an orange grove...
Freshly mown grass in the early morning....
The smell of night blooming jasmine in the early evening...
The smell of a brand new leather jacket, or a leather store that sells leather....
The smell of creosote. When no one is looking, I sniff telephone poles.....
Canvas in the sun..
Beeswax
A kerosene lamp
Popcorn-infused smell of an air-conditioned movie theatre....
A certain mechanical/grease smell of train wheels.....
Lit charcoal or a freshly lit cigarette....
A rarity now.....burning cigars and a lit Meershaum pipe....
The smell of a pine-needle path through the woods, especially on a crisp, cool morning....
Chapstick and Pacquin's hand creme....
Hot parafin...
Cat's tummy fur and salty paws...
Hot tar when a stree is being paved.
Earth covered roots of plants just pulled out of the earth...
Woodsmoke, peat smoke and coal smoke.....
What I like to call "the breath of the earth" My term for the living scent of moist earth, blackberry vines, green leaves, moss and humus that emanates from ground with mature trees and lots of undergrowth. This is truly the most beautiful fragrance ever.......... The earth is breathing free here, no concrete foundation or driveway or controlled landscaping to mute it's exhalations.
The combination of the beach in summer, straw hat and coconut oil and the drying sea water on summer skin....
The inside of old suitcases, rarely opened...
Clothes being ironed..........
The distinct smell of winter......a walk through the forest sniffing the crisp air, the pine fragrance, the fragrance of the earth and the cold.....
The smell of gasoline...
The gorgeous fragrance of old book or antique stores, fruit cellars, old basements.......
These are just a few of olfactory scents that most people take for granted, but not us with 'scents and sensibilities'.......