*All Of My Friendships*

For a greater part of my life, I believed that men and women could not develop a meaningful or satisfying friendship. I felt that if there even was an element of sexual attraction, or interest in one present, that the power of the genitals would overcome the gentleness of the heart. I had a very good friend named Tom in high school, who was gay and I consider him to have been the best friend I ever had. At the time, I didn't know he was gay and I didn't really care. We were the best of friends for years during junior high and high school. We did everything together and I never really questioned our lack of romantic interest in each other, we just loved being good friends. Today, I can honestly state that I believe that friendship between the sexes differs. I can only talk from my own perspective, and it is truly the case that men and women, for the most part, make different types of friends. Certainly, I have always had some wonderful male friends, who are up to par, if not better friends to me than women, but my generalization stands for the most part.

What is a friend, and what do we expect from them? To me, a friend is someone who cares for you unconditionally. Someone who is there for you during the good times, the mediocre times, and the difficult times as well. Throughout my lifetime, the men I have been involved with or married to, tend to run away from difficulties, either because of the inability or disability in being able to handle pain and be a source of true comfort. I am not saying that all men are like this, but the ones I have been involved were very limited and lacking in this area. I do have male friends who are the most compassionate and loving people, and in 99% of the male friends that I have, they are gay men! Do gay men make better friends then straight men? In my personal experience, Yes, they do. I also have known and worked with several lesbian women who were great, is this because they are women? I have had very few close friendships with women in my lifetime, there is always the issue of trust with them. My friend Judy, who has been through her own marriages and divorces as well as mine is my only loyal female friend. To have one good friend who is loyal and one you can count on is good.

I wonder if it is possible for men and women to be true friends? Are men different types of friends than women and do you have different expectations from friends of the same sex than of the opposite sex? Would you like your male friends to be the same as your friends? Does sexual orientation factor into the definition of what constitutes a good friend? I have pondered all of this and I am currently happy with the balance of gay men friends, some lesbian friends, and my dear Judy, who has been my friend for over 20 years. Frequently, I wonder what ever became of Tom, I will always treasure that friendship, it was priceless!!

*Mr. Bush Losing Ground in Second Term*

I have been carefully watching the decline of Mr. Bushs' second term over the past several weeks. These few weeks, as I see it, are plagued with difficulties and recently revealed lies and deception. He now faces fire and fallout over the role Karl Rove has played in leaking information regarding CIA agent, Valerie Plume, very possibly an indictment for him as well as Lewis Libby. Now, heavens to Betsy, we find out that the deception even enters the oval office with the current investigation of his own VP, Dick Cheney. Remember, Mr. Cheney, giving all of those speeches about our "need" to invade Iraq? We never found those weapons of mass destruction, and we never will, because they were not there. Iraq was not stowing away uranium as Mr. Cheney said it was either. When I was a young girl, my Dad instilled in me that when you told one lie, you would end up telling dozens to get out of the first lie. He was so right about that. He would be irate at our current administration if he were still alive. He considered politics high on his priority list as I do. He campaigned, watched the debates on television and never failed to vote. My apple has not fell far from that tree. I feel the same way, you have to be involved in current issues and government to assure that your children and grandchildren grow up in the most democratic society. To sweep everything under the rug and not deal with it has become dangerous in this country.
As if Mr. Bush did not already have enough on his plate, Mr. Bush is being grilled regarding his nomination of his close friend, and counsel, Harriet Miers, to the U.S. Supreme Court. Questions have ranged from Ms. Mier's political beliefs from members of his own party, to her lack of judicial experience as well. Ms. Miers has never been married, nor had children, yet she will be called upon to deal with very serious privacy issues about women, men and reproductive rights in her possible role as a Justice of the Supreme Court. I consider being nominated to the Supreme Court of our land an honorable position that one should qualify for with experience and maturity and the ability to be neutral in many controversial issues. I question, what the hell has Ms. Miers ever done to earn that privilege? Me thinks that being the personal friend of Mr. and Mrs. Bush is the only qualification. That would not be allowed in any other high position of power in this country. I personally don't care that she is their friend, she is being given a lifetime job wherein her opinions and decisions will affect my grandchildren. Lately, Mr. Bush has become even more arrogant and I didn't think that was possible. It's as if he thought to himself, "I can place anyone in the Supreme court that I want to, I am the boss of all of you".

Initially, Mr. Bush promised to fire anyone who "has leaked information". Now he is beginning to backpeddle and revise his words. He now indicates he will "fire anyone" who has commited a crime. He has taken the twisting of words to a new level.

I still see the destruction and little improvement in New Orleans. It has been over two months and he promised initially the rebuild the region quickly. CNN has reported several times that he seems to be in no hurry making good on that promise, even though he has visited it several times and tried to appear to care!

I am cautiously awaiting the findings and decisions by Mr. Fitzgerald, who is said to be neutral, honest, and a man who seeks out the truth, regardless of the outcome in indictments. I sure hope that is true. I want my faith restored in our system and justice. In all reality, I think that a good deal of it will be swept under the rug and covered up, somewhat like Watergate was for a while. This feeling is not because I am a lifelong Democrat, no, not at all. It is because I respect honesty and integrity. I want to see the issues of lying dealt with and the people responsible held accountable. I don't think that is an unreasonable hope.

This morning on the news, it was announced that the 2000th soldier had been killed in Iraq. The mother and sister of this young man spoke so proudly of him and his accomplishments. What a horrible honor, to be the 2000th soldier killed. I bet his mother would change that if she could go back in time. I wonder how she feels about the lies told to us about reasons to enter Iraq? The numbers will just keep climbing in my opinion, and that is so very sad.

*Good Manners Are Becoming Extinct*

I recently spent a week in Atlanta, Georgia with my son who lives there. It was a very relaxing week and a very thoughtful one. I love to relax and observe the world, people and things, a hobby of mine. While at my son's lovely house, I observed at how well he decorates it. His home is very clean, and cared for. It is in a cul-de-sac that is private and beautifully maintained. It is apparent that he has carefully thought about his furniture, his color scheme and the image that he wants to obtain. It is a home that you can relax in, gorgeously decorated yet comfortable. His kitchen is well stocked with nice dinnerware, lovely wineglasses, the latest, innovative cookbooks. His bedrooms are comfortable and luxurious, relaxing for sleep or to read. His landscaping is his pride and joy and it is apparent. He himself is well-groomed, he dresses well and prides himself in his work and his career . He drives a new Jeep, something that he has always wanted. He goes to great lengths to care for me, his mother, buying my plane tickets, planning my week, everything thought out and carefully planned. Where did all the time go? Where is that little boy who loved Snoopy, the dog, and had imaginary playmates? He has turned into a fine young man, with perfect manners, thoughtful and considerate to his family and his friends. I then began to pride myself in having raised children with manners, who take pride in their homes, their jobs, their families. All of this observation led me to observe the state of our society, where good manners are becoming extinct.

While waiting for my flight home from Atlanta, I began observing people. I decided to have a bite to eat at a restaurant in the airport. At a table near mine, there were two couples, the men dressed in well-cut suits and wearing ties, women trying to look like trophy wives, and succeeding. The men's haircuts were neat and even their fingernails were clean. The females sported the latest in the 'natural' look, which means that they are painted and polished to the hilt. Unfortunately, the conversation and off-color words bouncing from their table to mine belie the couples' appearance. They are packaged pretty, but underneath the facade is nothing but mud and muck.

In this age of egalitarianism, it is difficult to discern just who people really are by the cut of their clothes or the smell of their perfume. Money opens doors, of course, but money does not make for well-mannered people. A lot of people make big bucks, but barely know how to use a fork and knife correctly, let alone how to have a conversation without resorting to overused four-letter words to get their point across.

There are far too many self-centered idiots around. We see them everywhere. While waiting for my luggage in Michigan, a middle aged man brushed past me to get to another turnstile almost knocking me over. An elderly gentlemen looked at me and shook his head and said "whatever happened to excuse me, and sorry"? People are now brash, impatient and totally not self-conscious, a lot like spoiled three-year-olds. They yell at the top of their voices at two in the morning as they walk the halls of a hotel, waking everyone sleeping in the rooms that they pass. They are pushy, disrepectful - and totally unaware of anyone but themselves.

We have been sending our young out into the world totally void of any politeness or manners with only the goal of making the big bucks as their mantra. They haven't a clue how to act in social circumstances. They think the world is theirs because they can pay the bill, or their parents can. If they can't pay, they go bankrupt and stick everyone else with the cost of their overindulgences.
Maybe there are some who don't understand the reason behind teaching good manners to their young. The reason is so simple. A polite society is a peaceful society. The world is getting to be an ever more crowded place. Anyone who has done the tourist thing in the past several years can attest to the fact that more people are everywhere and the crowds are becoming crasser as the years go by.

Once dinner in a fine restaurant meant quiet conversations, respect for the people at nearby tables and background noise kept to a decent level. These days, eating out means blaring music, people at the next table who don't know how to keep their voices down and no knowledge of what real luxury means. These are folks with a 'bigger means better' attitude. We are now in the 'me generation' grown up into the obnoxious generation.

Once children learned how to behave in public in the privacy of their homes, I did and my children did as well, as will their children. But in these days of being 'too busy to let my child out of the stroller while I do my power walk', it's all about the parents, who want to stay young forever and fail to take on their responsibilities as parents. I see that so much in my career as a psychiatric RN who works in Adolescent Psych. Children need exercise too, mental and physical, but some parents think it's all about them, not the child. We are in the age of Peter Panism.

Successful consultants to large corporations make their livlihood teaching manners to executives on their way up the corporate highway. But, why wait until the child is a man or a woman to teach them how to get along socially in the world? Perhaps the solution to the ugly American syndrome night be a serious course of learning at Harvard or Yale or at our local grade schools. The benefits to all of us who would like a return to graciousness would be a kinder and gentler world, something we desperately need.

As I observe my children, my grandchildren, I am so proud of their manners, their courtesy to others, their love of fine things and their kindness. If I never did another thing in my life to be proud of, of this, my well-mannered children, I shall be eternally grateful for.

*Daughter, I Am So Proud Of You*

Recently, I realized just how proud I am of my daughter and the values that she holds. When you raise your children, you try to instill in them values that you hope will guide them through major issues in their lives and yours. You never really know what 'takes' and what doesn't until they are presented with issues that will govern the decisions they make.

A little over a week ago, my daughter's lovely little shelty dog, Baxter, was severely injured by a rottweiler that belonged to their neighbor. The rottweiler was no match for this young shelty that was a delight to my daughter and her family. He grabbed the little dog after trespassing on my daughter's property, her porch to be exact. and shook the little dog within an inch of his life! I was in Atlanta visiting her brother at the time, and my daughter called me after the fact and was truly concerned as to whether her Baxter would live or not. She had horrible feelings of guilt about not interrupting the attack and attempting to remove the larger dog from her shelty. I assured her that she. herself, could have been injured in attempting to intervene. Nevertheless, she has suffered a horrible form of post-traumatic stress reliving the incident in her mind affecting her sleep and her eating. Fortunately, the owner of the dog, responded to her screams and pleas for help and he and his son pulled the rottweiler off of her dog. The damage was done though, and the sheltie suffered horrible injuries that have thus far involved 3 surgeries to repair his torn flesh and God only knows the trauma he has suffered emotionally. Such a sweet little dog, he has fought so hard to live in spite of his injuries. Before the second surgery, my daughter called me regarding the expense she and her family would incur with relation to Baxter, possible over $5000.00 that they might not recoup from a lawsuit against the owner of the rottweiler. She loved this little dog so much and some people were advising her that because of the expense she should have the dog put down. I didn't want to unfavorably influence her with the wrong advice, but with my strong love for this dog, any animal really, I advised her to follow her heart and do what she thought was right. I then hung up the phone and sobbed wishing that I could write a check for this loveable little dog even though my income is so limited. I vowed that I would support her regardless of her decision. I anxiously awaited her call and when she did call, she said, "Mom" I am so glad that I talked to you, I have decided to go ahead and get Baxter the treatment that he needs. I was never so proud of my daughter as I was in that moment and I hung up the phone and said to myself, "I must have done something right in my lifetime" to have such wonderful children as she and her brother. They value what is truly irreplaceable, unconditional love from their pets and their families. Moments like this make you happy to be their parents, they really do. This little dog is not even 2 years old and he has given so much to all of us, his family, that he deserves our love and support during his time of need. Thank you god for this little guy, and for my daughter, who places his love and devotion as it should be. I am proud to be her mother!

*Thoughts Of Winter Coming*

It's time to think of winter,
Now while the sun
is warm enough
to melt the morning mist
And the wind
rustles leaves
still green from summer.

It's time to gather in
the days we grew together,
harvest the hours we raised,
and put them up in love
for safekeeping against the cold.
So that no matter what we give away
We'll have enough to see the fields......come Spring.

*People In and Out of Our Lives*

People important to you,
People unimportant to you cross your life,
Touch it with love or carelessness and move on.

There are people who leave you and
you breathe a sigh of relief and
Wonder why you ever came into contact with them.

There are people who leave you
And you breathe a sigh of remorse, and
Wonder why they had to go away and
Leave such a gaping hole.

Children leave parents, friends leave friends,
acquaintances move on.
People grow apart.

Friends love and move on,
You think of the many who have moved into
Your hazy memory.
You look at those present and wonder.

I believe in God's master plan,
He moves people in and out of each other's lives,
And each leaves his mark on the other.

You find you are made up of bits and pieces
Of all who ever touched your life.
You are more because of it,
And you would be less if they had not touched you.

Pray God, that you accept the bits and pieces in humility and wonder.
Never question and never regret.

*True Success*

I hope that my achievements in life shall be these:
That I will have fought for what was right and fair,
That I will have risked for that which mattered.
That I will have given help to those who were in need.
That I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. (C. Hoppe)



To laugh often and love much;
To win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of oneself;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiam and sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived -
this is to have succeeded. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

I was thinking about success this morning as I was reading one of my nursing journals that I receive monthly. I remember using Mr. Emerson's beautiful poetry back in the 70's to describe in an essay we had to write in nursing school. We had to describe why we wanted to be nurses; what did we hope to achieve in our careers? This was a paper for my instructor, Miss Barbara Bailey, RN, who I wanted so much to emulate as a nurse. As I review this beautiful poem now, I can safely say that I have, for the most part, achieved it.

*What Life is About*

Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have
Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend,
Or if you are alone.

It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date,
How many people you've dated,
Or if you haven't been with anyone at all.

It isn't about who you have kissed,
It isn't about who your family is
or how much money they have
Or what kind of car you drive
Or where you went to school.

It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on
Or what kind of music you listen to.

It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown,
Or if your skin is light or dark.
Not about what grades you get, how smart you are,
How smart everyone else thinks you are,
Or how smart standardized tests say you are.

It's not about what clubs you are in
Or how good you are at sports.

It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper
and seeing who will accept "the written you."

Life just isn't...................................

Life is about who you love and who you hurt
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposely.
It's about keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or as a weapon.

It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
It's about starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.

It's about what judgments you pass and why,
And who your judgments are spread to.

It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention,
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love,
Letting it grow and spreading it.

But most of all, it's about using your life
To touch or poison other people's hearts
In such a way that could have never occurred alone.

Only you choose the way those hearts are affected,
And those choices are what life's all about.

*A Soulmate is.............*

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks.
When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and
We can be completely and honestly who we are;
We can be loved for who we are and not for who we are pretending to be.
Each unveils the best part of the other.
No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe
in our own paradise.
Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction.
When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found
the right person.
Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.


*from The Bridge Across Forever by Leslie Parrish Bach

*Some Thoughts on Forgiveness*

Forgiveness is something that I have struggled with for most of my life. It is something that everyone with a troubled past needs to deal with. If you don't, it will grow like a cancer inside you.
My main issue over the years was that there was only one way to forgive. You had to forgive in the traditional sense of 'turning the other check' so that they could hit you on that side as well. If you could not, you must be a terrible person and you could not get on with your life. It did not make sense to me to forgive things that the other person wasn't truly sorry for. To me, forgiveness implied that what the other person did was okay. I had to learn to let go of the destructive anger inside me, but still felt that what happened was wrong.
Several years ago, I read a book that was helpful to me, I can't remember the title or the author but I remember the advice. I read so many books that it becomes impossible to remember them all. The book had a chapter on things that are forgiveable and discussed how one could be a "moral unforgiver". It discussed the difference in circumstances and the types of situations when to forgive would cause damage or harm. For example, forgiveness in some situations would be tantamount to "colluding in creating a false reality" that can allow future abuse to continue - both for that person as well as others.
As a general principle, I am in favor of forgiveness. I would not think of not forgiving someone who was truly sorry for what they did wrong. My problem comes in forgiving people who either will not acknowledge that they did wrong or people who are not sorry and have no plan to stop what they are doing.
The most interesting concept that I gained from this book was that children who have no validation and no protection become prisoners mentally as well as physically. Not forgiving is a recourse they can only create as independent adults; a way to free themselves from years of being coerced to agree that hate is really love. Under the pretense of promoting family harmony, parents who need to deny one child's viciousness and their own negligence often try to force the victimized child to be "mature" and "rise above it". Later in life, 'good' siblings continue to make the same demands of themselves. Their willingness to accept bad treatment, to feel they deserve it, or to define it out of existence then extends beyond their families and damages their later lives. Even those in less extreme circumstances tend to absorb parental values as an unexamined template for their own responses, making it difficult for them to distinguish what they truly feel from what has been imposed on them. Forgiveness as defined by a family with something to hide negates a daughter's right to think and feel for herself; what they consider healing would in fact be self-annihalting. False forgiveness allows evil to be excused and perpuated, but people have to be held accountable. My parents were not abusive or neglectful in any way, but the environment of alcoholism left them to only dwell on their own personal demons. They loved us the best that they knew how; they were both from the same type of environment. I think that this is especially true of children of alcoholic parents. My best friend and I have discussed this at great length since we both come from the same type of background. In summary, I believe that forgiveness involves the action of not wishing the other person harm.......of no wanting vengeance; as we say forgiving a debt owed us and not expecting payment. We must not dwell on it, continuous thoughts will poison your mind. You can forgive, but you cannot forget, that I am still working on...................................

*Memories*

Memories are heartbeats sounding through the years,
Echoes never fading of our smiles & our tears.
Moments that are captured sometimes unaware,
Pictured in an album or a lock of hair.

Images that linger deep within the mind
Bit of verse we cherished once upon a time.
Through the musty hallways of the days we knew,
Ever comes the vision beautiful and true.

Memories are roses blooming everywhere
Full of fragrant sweetness never known before
Life must have a meaning, goals for which to strive,
Memories are lights that burn and keep the heart alive.

*Old Things Are More Beautiful*

Old things are more beautiful than many things brand new........
Because they bring fond memories of things we used to do.

Old photographs in albums, love letters tied with lace,
Recapture those old feelings that new ones can't replace.

Baby shoes, a Teddy bear, a ring that grandma wore,
Are treasures waiting there behind a door marked "Nevermore."

Old things are more beautiful, more precious day-by-day, because they are the flowers we planted yesterday.


Up in the attic, down on my knees
Lifetimes of boxes, timeless to me.

Letters and photographs yellowed with years
Some bringing laughter, some bringing tears.

Time never changes the memories, the faces,
of loved ones, who bring to me
All that I come from and all that I live for
And all that I'm going to be.

My precious family is more than an heirloom.
(Amy Grant)

*Back To My Political Ranting!*

Over the past several weeks, I have tried to blog pretty, happy things about family, etc. and it all worked out well until I turned on the television yesterday and there he was, Georgie in all his glory. It seems that since the hurricane aftermath, more and more people are against the war in Iraq and Mr. Bush's popularity is slipping. In his speech he was telling us that there had been at least ten attempted attacks on the USA that we didn't know about. He had been our hero and cut them off at the pass so they couldn't harm us. It's wonderful having a cowboy in the White House. I began to wonder to myself, how has this man not been impeached? I cannot understand it - he is different from any president in my lifetime. His differences can be marked by his philosophy, his mannerisms, and his total inability to represent and unite the American people. The country is more divided politically than any time in my life. I think it's because he is not a president who represents our country. He comes from an extemely wealthy, powerful family who money is all tied up in the oil business. So did a lot of presidents come from the same background, you might say to yourself. Bush is quite different in that as our president, he is most interested in being a representative of the group of people who share his own philosophy and wealth. This is most significantly demonstated in his policies on tax cuts to the rich, the one percent of population, those who do not represent our country as a whole. He is a president who has divided this country more than any other, which is most significantly reflected in the composition of his cabinet, only one Democrat, and the manner in which Republicans separate themselves from Democrats today. Nixon, who I really never was fond of did some good if I remember correctly. He got rid of the draft, ended the war in Vietnam and changed the gold standard. In comparison, he was a least an altar boy compared to Georgie.
Georgie is leaving behind him a trail involving the war on Iraq, the issue of WMD, the Downing Street Memo, Abu Grab, Donald Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, hurricane Katrina, the state of the economy and price of oil, FEMA, Mike Brown and now the selection of Harriet Miers! Here is a woman that has never even served as a judge. Of course, she is a close friend of Bushies, and she shares his philosophy. Therefore, should the president of a country not represent the American people as a whole? Is it fair game for the current one to select people who agree with his personal and political philosophies, especially those who are supposed to be neutral, fair and impartial, and are going to represent the judiciary? Shouldn't it be the responsibility of a president to go beyond his own personal beliefs and positions in making selections and the implementation of ideas to reflect the majority or the minority of people in this country? I truly wonder why kind of legacy Dubya will leave behind for this country? Now I am in a countdown phase to the end of 2008 when he will leave the oval office and that can't happen soon enough.

*Always Have A Dream*

Forget about the days
when it's been cloudy,
but don't forget your hours in the sun.

Forget about the times
you have been defeated,
but don't forget the victories you've won.

Forget about the mistakes
that you can't change now,
but don't forget the lessons.

Forget about the misfortunes
you've encountered,
but don't forget the times your luck has turned.

Forget about the days
when you've been lonely.
but don't forget the friendly smiles you've seen.

Forget about the plans
that didn't seem to work out right,
but don't forget to always have a dream.

Don't forget to Live Your Dreams...

*What Is A Dream*

Last night, while laying in bed, I began thinking about dreams. I have always enjoyed my dreams. Some of them have been nonsensical involving unknown people, strange events and happenings, but some of them have been prophecies of the future. I have never had any problem with nightmares or scary dreams as some people do, some refer to them as 'night terrors'. I wonder what it is in their life that makes sleeptime so terrifying for them. Some say that dreams are a key to the soul, some say that they are an accumulation of the day's events and that the mind is just trying to classify them and put them in order. I don't always awaken remembering what I dreamed during the night, but I have always wanted to start a dream log or journal to see if there was any pattern or recurring theme to them. I remember one dream, shortly before my daughter and my mother died. The dream was very vivid, I saw a wreath with dead flowers and a black ribbon on it - I could actually smell it. I didn't understand the significance of it until after the events had happened. Shortly after my daughter's death, I had a dream where she walked towards me smiling - showing me that she was healthy and that she was happy. This dream was unlike any other in it's clarity. It had to be very difficult for her to transcend from where she was, to reassure me that I could stop grieving and worrying because she was now in a place where she had eternal peace. When I awoke, I knew she had visited my dream, because Leslie was that spiritual. People may scoff and view this as not possible, but it did happen and it was reassuring. I have learned to trust my instincts and view my dreams as interesting insight as I sleep through the night.

What is a dream?

A dream is a magical thing
A rainbow of joy in your heart
Your own secret corner
Where no one can go
Where the path to fulfillment can start.

A dream lures you on,
Always one step ahead
Until you have caught it,
And then there's always another
To capture your soul
And lead you onward again.

*Comes The Dawn*

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with you head held high and eyes opened.
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

You learn to build your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much,
So you plant your own garden and decorate you own soul.
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye comes the dawn.

*A Butterfly In The Wind*

A child is like a butterfly in the wind
Some can fly higher than others.
But each one flies the best that it can.
Why compare one against the other?
Each one is different.
Each one is special.
Each one is beautiful.

*Happy Birthday Steven*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON STEVEN!


Steven has a birthday today. Steven lives in Atlanta, Georgia and works for a large intercontinental hotel chain.
He graduated from Michigan State University and decided to move to Atlanta, Georgia to pursue his career. He has been in Atlanta since then and prefers it to Michigan.

I will be flying down in one week to visit him at his lovely home. I usually go to Atlanta at least twice a year just to hang out with my son. I love the Atlanta area and I am excited to go! See you soon, Steven!

*Not To Be Forgotten*

Working in the mental health field, I noticed that the upcoming week (October 2-8) is National Mental Illness Awareness Week. I wondered to myself, how many people are aware of how mental illness is treated in our country.
I remember as a young nursing student back in the 70's getting an excellent education in mental health issues. This was the days of Lafayette Clinic, Northville and other psychiatric facilities that were excellent treatment centers, but which were shortly thereafter closed by the incoming Republic governor, Mr. Engler. It was not just in the state of Michigan, but throughout the country. Where were the mentally ill supposed to go? They became part of our homeless, part of the prison system. This is a shame and a national tragedy.
Mental illness is a cause that I will always be truly passionate about. At least one in four families are in some way touched by mental illness, one form or another.

Mental illness is the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and is categorically referred to as brain disorders. Just like physical illnesses, individuals and families, when faced with these issues, need support, guidance and friendship every step of the way. Mental illness needs to be recognized as much as physical illness, but unfortunately in this country, it is not. Recovery from most forms of mental illness is possible, provided that proper medication, therapy and education are achieved.

Nevertheless, many barriers remain and community education and support are the keys to fighting the stigma associated with mental illness. It is so easy to dismiss or label mentally ill patients as being "crazy", "off their rocker", "nuts" or "whacko". These labels are hurtful to individuals and impact on families who must deal with someone affected with mental health issues. It is necessary for us to be aware of the stigma attached to this illness and to do one's part in being part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

I feel that if we all became involved in this cause, it would be truly possible to heal the world by doing our part in understanding mental illness by reducing stigma and raising awareness. Such activities could include participating in walks, causes, and drives, and most importantly, becoming educated and aware of what goes on in treatment and recovery of those with mental health issues in our country today.

*remembering you, Leslie*