Today was Justin's 8th birthday. I went out this morning and bought him a Star War's light sabre, something he has always wanted. I think I mentioned before how Nate, our mental health worker, brings in his 'real' one and the little boys on the unit where I work run up and down the halls at night with their capes (tied hospital gowns) and pretend to be Jedi warriors.
He loved the light sabre. His adoptive mother and little sister were coming in especially for his birthday. We had the kitchen at work bake a cake especially for him and his family. We rearranged our whole evening schedule so that he could enjoy his family and his birthday party. We had 11 other children on the unit, some his age and some teenagers, chip in to make it a special day for him, and it was, at least for a little while. I carefully planned out how I would adjust his medication given in order to keep him calm, not showing his inner rage and anger, so that he could enjoy at least this one birthday. I wanted it to be special for his little sister and his adoptive mother as well since they love him so. Even though he requires placement for at least 18 months in a facility that will attempt to control his rage, his adoptive mother will take him back again and try to give him a good life when the 18 months is over. He has been at our facility this time since July awaiting placement, since we are a short term facility. We are patient, though, his doctor loves him as well, and we will await the opening for a bed at the other facility. He has been with us on several other admissions, but we always take him back. We are still trying to 'fix' the damage his parents did and pray for a somewhat average adulthood for him, so that he doesn't become a part of the penal system.
Justin was born addicted to drugs since his mother used all of her pregnancy, most likely not even obtaining prenatal care. His parents also sexually and physically abused him grossly before he was even 2 years and eventually removed from the home. He was thrown against the wall as an infant and he and his sister were severely neglected before the authorities stepped in and removed him from the home. His adoptive mother took he and his sister in and even at the risk of eventually ruining an already unstable marriage, she has hung in there and kept him and his sister. She loves them, even though she is sick herself with Lupus that flairs up frequently due to his many behavior problems and admissions to our psychiatric hospital. She is the mother that should have given birth to them, but she didn't. I sometimes wonder if their 'real' mother ever considers the damage she has done to him. I hate her for what she has done, but I doubt that she will ever know this or care. Sometimes I have even fantasized about (if I could) taking his parents by the shoulders, shaking the heck out of them, and saying "look what you have done to your children, look at the life they have, all due to your selfishness, you should have never been allowed to bring children into this world" but I know that I can't so it is just a fantasy of mine.
Justin acts out sexually constantly now, even though we have tried so many different medications to control his behavior. He has even reverted back to wearing pullup diapers, he had complete control not too long ago. We have counseled him, tried behavior modification, everything and anything we can to help him, but nothing seems to work. When he gets into a rage, we have one of the staff escort him to the quiet room to hold him down when he is throwing things, destroying property, swearing, hitting, kicking or attacking, in order to calm him down. We give him medication to assist in the calming but it seems nothing is working anymore. When the medication kicks in and he has had his supper, I take him to his room and run a warm shower for him. He gets ready for bed and sweetly asks, Miss Charlotte, please come and tuck me in. So we keep doing it, day after day, and hope and pray that something will eventually work so he live a somewhat normal life in our society.
I often hope that his mother and dad someday know that through their selfishness and disregard for their children, this is what they have created, a child who is barely manageable, who must be medicated, sedated, just in an attempt to enjoy his birthday party. It just doesn't seem fair to me, he should be a little boy like all other little 8 year old boys, looking forward to starting school, making new friends, and playing Jedi warrior with his light sabre...................
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