For some unknown reason today, I began thinking about the word infidelity and what it actually meant, depending on the context that it was used in. I have noticed upon reading many different blogs as I do, that this word is discussed frequently.
When I first ventured into blogsville, I was initially quite shocked to find that many blogs contained posts that were vulgar in origin, and some were quite sexually graphic as well. What I found interesting was that many of these posts on different blogs were written by many men and women who claimed that they were very religious, and followed commandments and prohibitions strictly in their personal lives. This issue exists and can surface among even those who claim to be ultra-religious, one prime example being Jim Baker, who turned out to be an adulterer as well as a liar and a cheater in his church business, landing him with a lengthy jail term.
I was quite surprised at some blogs that they were so flippant and forthright when talking about sex, using graphic language and what I considered crossing a barrier that I had believed was not ever any issue for them in their real lives. Should we not be vigilant here with our words and the tone of our posts, even if no one knows us, or does the veil of the internet allow us to express ourselves in ways we might find prohibitive in real life?
With computers and the veil of anonymity, and the accessibility of meeting so many others with the touch of the keyboard, many words and comments may be made, which can be taken as crossing the line and turning fidelity into infidelity. As far as I am concerned, one's motives and intentions have a great deal to do with when and to what extent an innocent act or word can cress the line into unfaithful and dishonest conduct.
I then began asking myself if infidelity is always only about adulterous sex? In my opinion, no, there are far worse ways to be an infidel. Who among us can forget Bill Clinton's own conclusion when he said "I did not have sex with that woman", Monica, because to him receiving oral sex did not fall within that definition. At the time, I understood what he meant.Our current president has committed far worse crimes in my estimation,the worst being the death of 2500 of our country's finest young men and women. All of those deaths far outweigh Mr. Clinton's oral sex. Something more, according to Bill, at least for him, was required to meet the definition of infidelity.
Knowingly lying to your partner about important things is a form of infidelity to me. Secreting things and hiding facts from your partner is another. Staying with someone for the wrong reasons when there is no feeling left, not allowing the other person to be set free and get on with their life, is a form of infidelity to me. Trust is the foundation of any commitment or relationship, and you break it when you lie, secret, hide and otherwise not reveal the truth to the person you are supposed to love. So in my opinion, it is not just the sexual act that is infidelity, it is also breaking trust by lying, secreting, hiding or otherwise not revealing the truth. Betrayal comes in so many forms. People may have different opinions on which one of these would hurt the most but personally, I think all of it does, not just the fact that an adulterous act was committed. Basically it is all a total lack of trust or a lie within the relationship. Betrayal is in the eye of the beholder.
How would you define infidelity?
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