* DREW WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN YOU *

Drew Larimer, a memorial was held in your honor tonight at Piedmont Park because the people that love you have not forgotten the important part you were in their lives.

You may be gone, Drew, but the love that people have for you still remains as evidenced by the many beautiful lit candles in this picture. Your parents, your Uncle Steve, and your multitude of friends continue to miss and love you..........

For anyone that would like to add a word of prayer or their thoughts about Drew, please follow this blog entry to show that we all still care.

THOUSAND MOMENTS

I still remember the day the world took you back & there was never time to thank you for the thousand scattered moments you left behind to watch us while we slept......

I miss and love you, Leslie Susan

*THOUGHTS ON AGEING*

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore..I've even earned the right to be wrong.So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

*Anonymous

*PLACE BY THE SEA*

He kept a piece of algae behind his ear to remind him of his roots.

A million years ago every place was a little place by the sea,

He would say

And my mind would go blank

And I would swim through the day

Without a care in the world

And it all seemed so familiar that I knew

I would go back someday to my own little place by the sea

*CLOSET ANGEL*

There are angels everywhere you can imagine.

I saw one hiding in the closet in my bedroom once

I invited her out, but she said she was waiting for a friend

Thank you just the same

The next time I looked she was gone.

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LESLIE SUSAN*

Thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has you in His keeping, I have you in my heart. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LESLIE SUSAN, Love Mom (Leslie Susan 1963-2002)

*WORDS OF COMFORT*

There are days I drop

words of comfort on myself

like falling rain

and remember

it is enough

to be taken care of

by myself.

*MAGICAL BEAST*

THERE IS A MAGICAL BEAST THAT HOLDS

THE SECRET OF LIFE AND SHADOW

IN A SAFE PLACE IN HER HEART...........

AND WHEN IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG AND GRAY

SHE STARTS TO DANCE AND LAUGH

AND CRY AND SING

AND THE SUNLIGHT FILLS HER UP

AND SPILLS IN WILD ABANDON

INTO THE WORLD AGAIN..........

*OUR INTERNET RELATIONSHIPS*

Over the past 10 years or so, I have had the occasion to meet people, both men and women, through the click of the mouse. Cyber-space has opened an entire universe to me, transecting both time, place and space. Some connections have been through chat rooms, various subjects including music, politics, fragrances, and books.But, who are these people who I meet in this impers0nal forum and what, if any true meaning and relationship do they have and give to our lives?

Do some of us feel more comfortable behind a compuer screen where we can be who we want, say whatever we feel (uncensored at times) and allow others to think about us in a way that may not be accurate in the real world? How often do we hear others say that they are there for us, and within a few weeks, maybe even days, their words dissolve like alka seltzer in water, and we do not even hear from them again? Are others reactors (i.e. people who only say, I am sending you thoughts and prayers), does this mean that they really care about us, would take the time to be there if necessary, or just want to look good on the computer screen for others to see?


Sometimes it seems as if we give those individuals whom we meet on the internet more value and excuse them more often if they do not meet our expectations, than those individuals who are a part of our real, non-cyber lives. Sitting behind the veil of a screen reminds me, in a way, of the great and powerful Wizard of Oz. We imagine grandiosely, when in reality, there may sit someone who, like everyone else, is timid, shy and maybe a cut below average.


I remember back in 2002 when I found that my oldest daughter had passed away. I came home with my then husband and was at a loss for what to do with myself. My then husband, of course, had no difficulty just going to bed and sleeping. I couldn't do that, I couldn't function, I couldn't move, I didn't know what to do. I turned on my computer and began journaling my thoughts, my anguish and my pain on one of my nursing message boards. It was the middle of the night and I thought no one would even notice. The next morning my email was flooded with my cyber nurse friends love and concern. It literally made me sob. This wasn't just published on the nursing board, this flood of email was sent to me personally and the thoughts were so kind and caring. My cyber friends overwhelmed me with their kindness and yes, their love.


Pain and loss are the great equalizers, and it is often the case that during these times, we know truly who our friends are, and who are those who say the are, but are not. That being said, there have been individuals whom I have met through the internet who have been genuinely concerned, caring and even loving in so many ways. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Every human being with whom we interact is created in God's image, and therefore, is as valuable as we are ourselves.

I have belonged to a board called The Perfume of Life for over 8 years now. It is a board with thousands of members who discuss their love of fragrance, all of the industry news, as well as various topics such as life issues, art and music, a Swap and trade section. Recently a very loved member of our little community had not been on the board for over a month. I personally had sent her several personal messages wondering if she was okay. I didn't know if she was ill, was on vacation, or what was going on. Through the search function of Google, one of our members discovered her obituary! This was immediately after her death, less that a week or so. We were all so sad and so upset, she was beloved to us. One of our members from Leeds, England knew that her youngest son posted on Facebook. That member, our Prince Barry, messaged how much we all loved and missed her and were sorry to hear of her demise. I woke up early this morning to see a message posted on the Perfume of Life board from her husband and it made me cry. He came to our board and contacted me personally to thank all of our members for the numerous messages posted when we found out she had died. One of our moderators personally copied and sent her husband all of the loving memories we posted about her. This is the power of the internet, these are people that I love and that I care for.....


What have I learned from this experience, and where does it leave me in terms of the conclusions that are reached about relationships on the internet vs. those outside of cyber-space? For one thing, I am much more appreciative of the real friends that I have. Flaws and all, you are grand, and when you say you care, you mean it. When you say you pray, you do it, and when you say you are there for me, I can literally feel your hearts beat......

*YOU MIGHT AS WELL DANCE*

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because people cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord. My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy. Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list.

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see her sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi'? When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away..... Life is not a race.

Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.. 'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!'

Anonymous

*NATORI* One gorgeous fragrance

A floral oriental chypre, this fragrance opens with an effervescent bouquet of fresh rose petals enriched by deep, dark plum notes. The heart is an exotic and alluring hybrid of Ylang Ylang, Purple Peony and Night Blooming Jasmine. Slipping languidly over pulse points, Black Patchouli, Amber and a hint of Satin Musk complete this mysterious and tantalizing fragrance.

Natori is one classy, elegant oriental that literally defines class and elegance. I have not smelled anything like this gorgeous fragrance.

This is not a fragrance that will be loved by the general masses that like generic, department store fragrances. This is not for teeny boppers who like all of the Calvin Kleins, or the Britneys or the Paris Hilton fragrances!

Oh no, this fragrance is for women of class, elegance and a refined taste! Even the bottle is beautiful. It is such a dark, eggplant purple that it looks black. It is a heavy bottle with a heavy stopper. It is one of a kind in fragrance and I shall cherish it!

*HAPPY HALLOWEEN* to all my blogger friends!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN to all of my blogger, fragrance lover friends...............BOOOOOOO!!!

*LEGACY* (from Story People)

I promise you not a moment will be lost
As long as I have heart & voice to speak
And we will walk again together
With a thousand others
And a thousand more and on and on
Until there is no one among us
Who does not know the truth:
There is no future without love.

* The Nobel Peace Prize *

Mahatma Ghandi is the man who stated "You must be the change you wish to see in the World".
Today our President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for initiating change, for opening the doors of communication with the other nations of the world, for diplomacy and tact in negotiating peaceful solutions, and he deserves it.

Over the past 8 years, we as a nation were hated and our place in the world deteriorated because our former president would not negotiate with other countries, would not discuss anything with some nations for that matter. We, as a result, have lost close to 5000 of our finest to a unprovoked war with a nation that did not have 'weapons of mass destruction' and will probably lose more. That is not acceptable.

Our flag was burned in other countries and our people disrespected. It was unsafe to travel in some countries because of all of the anger against our country. Al Qaeda appears on our airwaves frequently mocking us for being 'so stupid' while they hide in the mountains of Afghanistan. We could always fight another war in Afghanistan but this would only push them further into Pakistan, where we could fight another war and lose thousands more. In the meantime, our economy is trying to recover from the damage done during the last 8 years with no regulations being put on Wall Street. Hopefully, we won't continue sending troops to Afghanistan to be slaughtered. If President Obama decides not to send more troops, he will be criticized for hurting the defense industry.

It has been stated that he 'has not been in office long enough' to win the Nobel Peace Prize, yet he is also criticized for not doing everything he promised, has he been in office long enough for that, I ask?

His presidency has already displayed diplomacy, class and tact where our former president displayed only arrogance, no accountability and no apology for any wrongdoing by his administration. President Obama could develop a cure for all cancers, and the GOP would criticize that as well.

I just want to state, however, that I could not be more proud of my country and my President. We are on the right track, peace in the world is possible..... We should be proud as a nation of this prestigious award being given to our President, yet many Americans are not, and I don't for the life of me understand that. Whether you approve of his administration or not, he won the most honored award in the world. That is something to be proud of, as Americans, not the political party you ascribe to.

*BITTERSWEET*

She said she usually cried at least once each day,

not because she was sad,

but because the world was so beautiful

and life was so short..............

*You Can Go Home Again!*

I have always heard that you can 'never go home again' relating to the fact that the past is not what you remembered. Well, I did go home again! My son Steve and I were recently traveling from Michigan back to Atlanta where he lives and decided to stop in the city of my birth, Troy, Ohio. What a surprise! The town square that I remembered as a little girl was exactly as I remembered it. Yes, the stores were different but the buildings were the original ones and the fountain was still there. I had not been here since 1967 when my Grandmother, Frances Minerva, passed away. I never thought it would be the same.........

It brought tears to my eyes remembering all the happy times and all of my relatives in this small town. We stopped in to eat at a small restaurant that had a sign saying EAT which made my son laugh. The 'youngest' waitress was 62 years old and she knew of all of my relatives. You placed your order for the best home-cooked food at the counter and your name was called when it was ready for pick up. The food was excellent and at a cost of $12 for both of us.

It was a step back in times long ago when my cousins and I used to go to the town square, go to the one movie theatre and have fun watching movies for .25 cents. It was the location of the Bar owned by my Uncle Andy, who has since passed. It had also contained the dry goods store with the attic containing my beloved paper dolls that I used to purchase when my Grandma took me there. My Grandma also had an upper apartment in one of those old buildings when she could no longer maintain her boarding house.

Those memories surrounded me as we had lunch, looked around the town square and got on with our journey. I will be forever grateful to my son Steve for allowing me this wonderful chance to go home again.....

*THE WORLD AS IT COULD BE*

FIVE A.M. IN THE PINE WOODS

I’d seen their hoof prints in the deep needles

and knew they ended the long night
under the pines,

walking like two mute and beautiful women

toward the deeper woods,

so I got up in the dark and went there.

They came slowly down the hill

and looked at me sitting under the blue trees,

shyly they stepped closer and stared

from under their thick lashes and even
nibbled some damp tassels of weeds.

This is not a poem about a dream, though it could be.
This is a poem about the world that is ours, or could be.

Finally one of them— I swear it!—
would have come to my arms

But the other stamped sharp hoof in the pine needles

like the tap of sanity,and they went off together

through the trees.

When I woke I was alone,

I was thinking:

So this is how you swim inward,

So this is how you flow outward

So this is how you pray.

Mary Oliver, House of LightBeacon Press, Boston (1962)

*Today is International Peace Day declared so by the United Nations

If we could only achieve this and make it be.

*A MEMORIAL TO DREW LARIMER*

Dear sweet Drew! When I heard about your sudden passing, it broke my heart. So young with your whole life ahead of you......and what a wonderful life that would have been.

I remember the last time that I saw you...........I was getting my haircut by your Dad, Dale, at the home he shares with Richard. I remember my last visual memory of you, standing in the driveway smiling from ear to ear. I remember thinking how proud Dale and your mother must be of you. Your face glowed and your smile was so genuinely warm, I will never forget that. I am sorry that it was the last time I saw you and I will always treasure that memory.

I would also like to remember your life, Drew, as being one where you fought to be 'who you really were' and were so close to becoming the person you wanted to be.

In today's world of intolerance and ignorance, you fought the battle and YOU WON. It was truly a pleasure to have known you the short time that I did and I feel honored to have done so.

You will be missed Drew, the world is a better place because you were once a part of it..............

*TIME FOR DEMOCRATS TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE*

This weekend I watched Senator Ted Kennedy's funeral service with sadness knowing that he did not live long enough to see his dream of universal health care passed.

Then I began to get somewhat angry at all of the delays in the progress of healthcare reform. I voted for Barack Obama, now I want him and his administration to do their job.

I have seen all the nastiness, the gun-toting, the name calling and shouting at public town halls and I am sick and tired of it! Progressive Democrats like myself, the outspoken champions of health care reform, have literally not been doing their job. They need to be more vocal, to stand in Congress and yell "no public insurance option, no healthcare reform".

They have become, over the years, like the Republican party, deeply influenced by corporate money. Are they afraid that if they turn off the powerful interests of the health industry, the drug industry and Wall Street, they will influence Obama's re-election efforts in 2012?

President Obama, we elected you because you promised healthcare reform, to end the war in Iraq, not continue funding Afghanistan and tend to our own country's needs. You need to be less conservative and more progressive. I know you can, you need to fight more and finesse less. You need to stand up the Republicans, who lost the election by the way, and say "we need this because we are a decent country". The conservatives have dominated the debate over health care lately and the right wing has been winning the debate. We are a country of people who are hurting. The Republicans are the party that lost and the conservative movement that was deeply discredited over the last 8 years are setting the agenda for a Democratic Party that controls the White House, the Senate and the House. What's wrong with this picture???

*Leslie, Gone But Not Forgotten*

I think of you in silence,

I remember how you looked.

Now all I have are memories

And your pictures in my scrapbook.

Your memory is my keepsake

With which I'll NEVER part.

God has you in His keeping.

I have you in my heart.............

*FAVORITE THINGS*

My favorite thing is the wind, she said,

And my second favorite is chocolate

But I just do that so

I don't get too skinny & blow away


*from Story People

*THE BRIDGE*

There was a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from life. He had experienced many moods and trials. He had experimented with different ways of living and he had had his share of success and failure. At last, he began to see clearly where he wanted to go.

Diligently, he proceeded to find the right opportunity. Sometimes he came close, only to be pushed away. Often he applied all his strength and imagination, only to find the path hopelessly blocked. And then at last it came. But the opportunity would not wait. It would be made available only for a short time. If it were seen that he was not commited, the opportunity would not come again.

Eager to arrive, he started on his journey. With each step, he wanted to move faster; with each thought about his goal, his heart beat quicker, with each vision of what lay ahead, he found renewed vigor. Strength that had left him since his early youth returned and all kinds of dormant desires reawakened within him.

Hurrying along, he came upon a bridge built high above a river in order to protect it from the floods of spring. He started across. Then he noticed someone coming from the opposite direction. As they drew closer, it seemed as though the other were coming to greet him. He could see clearly; however that he did not know this person who was dressed similarly except for something tied around his waist.

When they were within hailing distance, he could see that what the other had around his waist was a rope. It was wrapped around him several times and probably, if extended, would reach a length of 30 feet.

Just as he was noticing this fact, the other began to uncurl the rope, and as they were coming close, the other said "Pardon me, would you be so kind as to hold the end a moment?"

Surprised by this request, which was made so politely, he agreed without a thought, reached out and took it.

"Thank you" said the other, then added, "two hands now, and remember, hold tight". At that point the other jumped off the bridge.

Within a second the free-falling body hurled the distance of the rope's length and from the bridge he instantly felt the pull. Instinctively, he held tight. The weight almost dragged him off the bridge. He managed to brace himself against the edge; however, and after having caught his breath, looked down at the other dangling distantly, close to oblivion.

"What are you trying to do?" he yelled.

"Just hold tight" said the other.

"This is ridiculous" he thought and began trying to haul the other in. He could not get the leverage; however. It wasn't as though the weight of the other person and the length of the
rope had been carefully calculated in advance so that together they created a counter weight just beyond his strength to bring the other back to safety.

"Why did you do this?" he called out.

"Remember," said the other, "if you let go, I will be lost".

"But I cannot pull you up" he cried.

"I am your responsibility" said the other.

"Well, I did not ask for it" he said.

"If you let go, I am lost" repeated the other.

He began to look around for help. But there was none. How long would he have to wait? Why did this happen to befall him now? "Just as I was on the verge of true success." He examined the side searching for a place to tie the rope. Some protrusion, perhaps, or maybe a hole in the boards. But the railing was unusually uniform in shape; there were no spaces between the boards. There was no way to get rid of this new found burden, even temporarily.

"What do you want?" he asked the other hanging below.

"Just your help" the other answered.

"How can I help? I cannot pull you in and there is no place to tie the rope so that I can go find someone to help me help you."

"I know that" said the other. "Just hang on, that will be enough. Tie the rope around your waist, it will be easier".

Fearing that his arms could not hold out much longer, he tied the rope around his waist.

"Why did you do this?" he repeated. "Don't you see what you have done? What possible purpose could you have had in mind?"

"Just remember," said the other "my life is in your hands."

What should he do? "If I let go, all my life I will know that I let this other die. If I stay, I risk losing my momentum towards my own long sought after salvation. Either way this will haunt me forever". With ironic humor he thought to die himself, instantly, to jump off the bridge while still holding on. "That would teach this fool". But he wanted to live and to live life fully. "What a choice I have to make; how shall I ever decide?"

Some time went by, but still no one came. The critical moment of decision was drawing near. To show his commitment to his own goals, he would have to continue on his journey now. It was already almost too late to arrive in time. But what a terrible choice to make.

A new thought occured to him. While he could not pull this other up by his own efforts alone, if the other would shorten the rope from his end by curling it around his waist again, together they could do it. Actually, the other could do it by himself, as long as he, standing on the bridge, kept it still and steady.

"Now listen, he shouted down. "I think I know how to save you." Then he explained his plan.

But the other wasn't interested.

"You mean you won't help? But I told you I cannot pull you up myself, and I don't think I can hold on much longer either."

"You must try" the other shouted back in tears. "If you fail, I die".

The point of decision has arrived. What should he do? What an impossible decision to have to make. "My life or this others?" And then a new idea, a really new idea. So new, in fact, it almost bordered on revelation, so foreign was it to his traditional way of thinking.

"I want you to listen carefully," he said, "because I mean what am about to say. I will not accept the position of choice for your life, only for my own, the position of choice for your life I give back to you."

"What do you mean?" the other asked, afraid.

"I mean, simply, it's up to you. You decide which way this ends. I will become the counterweight. You do the pulling and bring yourself up. I will even tug a little from here." He began unwinding the rope from around his waist, and braced himself anew against the side.

"You cannot mean what you say," the other shrieked. "You would not be so selfish. I am your responsibility. What can be so important that you would let someone die. Do not do this to me."

He waited a moment. There was no change in the tension of the rope.

"I accept your choice," he said, at last, and freed his hands.


(anonymous author)

*A TRIBUTE TO MINERVA FRANCES BALLARD*

I have missed her deeply since the day I traveled to Troy, Ohio to her funeral and met her brothers and sisters from Mississippi attending her funeral. Her sister Susie looked so much like her it made me cry. I had never met any of her people, the Ballards, from Mississippi, but I would have loved to have know them.
My grandmother married my grandfather, Cecil (in picture above), as a young girl and moved to Kentucky with him. She bore him 4 sons, losing one at birth. She lost my dad, Stanley Eugene Ballard before her death and I know that it literally broke her heart. Since I have lost a child at almost the very same age that my grandma did, I understand the pain that she suffered at the time.
My grandma was in the room of the home on Simpson Street when I was born. I was her first grandchild and I was the girl she always wanted. My mother had already decided my name was going to be Linda Diane, but my grandmother convinced her to name me Charlotte Diane. Charlotte was a dear friend of hers that I never knew growing up, but I have her name just the same.
My grandmother literally doted on me the moment I was born and loved me deeply until the day she died.We moved from Ohio when I was barely 9 years old. It was extremely difficult leaving my grandmother in Ohio. She solved that problem by having my Dad drive me to Ohio the very minute that school let out. I stayed with her for the whole summer, just returning to Michigan when it was time to go back to school.
My grandmother ran a boarding house for men in Ohio. She also had a gentlemen who worked for the railroad have only his meals every day at her immaculate, well-maintained home. This was her source of income since she had no skills, marrying as young as she did. I grew up around her roomers and boarders and remember each one of them fondly. She also lived in sin with a man named Preston Cross for years and they had a wonderful relationship until the day he died. I never questioned why they didn't marry, but I never associated her with my grandpa Cecil. Preston was like a grandpa to me as well. My grandmother doted on me when I stayed with her.
I remember going to a dry-goods store and going up to their upper floor by way of the old creaky wooden stairs and looking through all of the books of paper dolls, and at the coloring books, and the crayons. My grandma would just tell the shop owner, "give the girl whatever she wants", she was like that. I didn't just get a box of crayons, I got the big box with the gold, silver and copper crayons! She was so good to me. I thought all grandmas were like that.
She would take me to the County Fair in Ohio and would say "let's have our picture made" and we did. I didn't know until recently that her real name was Minerva Frances. She went by Frances. I remember the fragrance of that dry-goods store, the fragrance of the paper doll books and crayons, and it is comforting to be able to remember them.
My travels to my grandmothers house in the summer continued all of my young life. I even stopped and stayed at her house on the way to Florida for my honeymoon. She was so glad that I did. She would write letters to me faithfully until her fingers became so crippled with arthritis that she couldn't. She then had a friend write as she dictated.
I traveled to Ohio to see her in the hospital right before she died. I remember brushing her beautiful, long, black hair that grew to the middle of her back. She never dyed her hair, but it was a lustrous black until the day she died, just like my Dads. She was confused during her last hospitalization, but told me that she had heard them 'calling me' over the hospital intercom to come to her side, and now, here I was. That was the last time I would ever see her alive.
Minerva Frances was a very special part of my life and I will always love her and honor her memory. I like to believe that my Leslie is now with her and enjoying her like I did. I took Leslie on a train once to see her when Leslie was a toddler and my grandma showered her with the same love she always gave me. I am convinced she will know her when she sees her now................

July is almost over and I am thankful. I lost my Dad, my Grandmother Minerva Frances and my daughter, Leslie Susan in the month of July. It is a very hard month to get through but I am convinced they are all in a better place.

*FRAGRANCE MEMORIES*

My aunt Ruth is the beginning of my love for fragrance............she had this gorgeous tray of beautiful colored bottles of her fragrance on display in her bathroom. She never owned just one bottle, she owned 35 of them (or more). As a little girl, and I mean little, when my Mom would take me to visit, I loved looking at that beautiful display. All different colors of gorgeous bottles with the mirror enhancing their sparkling colors. She said she was a 'woman of many moods' and needed different fragrances to enhance that day's mood. She was always the 'eccentric' aunt, and I adored her. During the Bicentennial year in Dayton, Ohio, she wore a red, white and blue wig to the Dayton Mall as a sign of her patriotism. She fed every bird for miles in her backyard. She had a host of cats and dogs, but her house was always immaculate. She even had a flying squirrel that had a huge cage and it's own bedroom. She had funerals and buried each and every animal at a pet cemetary and visited them as you would any grave. Gosh, I miss her so, just remembering her. Everyone says I take after her, I hope I do......she started my love of fragrance and I will always love her.

*ANT GODS* (from Story People)

I dug up an anthill once

And my friend told me the ant gods would come to get me in my dreams

And I said I didn't believe him,

But later that night I went down & tried to put the anthill back together

I even added some lettuce & mashed potatoes

And a pork chop from dinner

In case they'd been too busy to eat

I never heard from the ant gods,

so I figure it worked out.

*FIGHTING CHANCE*

What do I get for this? I said

And the angel gave me a catalog filled with toasters

And clock radios

And a basketball signed by Michael Jordan

And I said, But this is just stuff

Then the angel smiled at me

And swallowed me in her arms.

I'm so glad you said that, she whispered to me.

I knew you still had a chance.

*From Story People by Brian Andreas

*GREAT GAME*

What are the rules? I said

She said, Do exactly what I want whenever I want, make no demands of me whatsoever

And love me forever, no questions asked

I said, how do you win?

She said, you don't understand. I'm the only one who wins

Then she laughed & clapped her hands.

Isn't it a great game? she said.

(from Story People)

*SPRING/SUMMER FRAGRANCE* from my Perfume Board

Of course, we were discussing our favorite 'smells' on my Perfume Board again! What else would be discuss? Well, we actually do discuss art, music, life, all kinds of things..........but these are some of our favorite smells for Spring/Summer:

From a Friend in New Orleans:

The night-blooming jasmine. The magnolias and gardenias have already passed their seasons, but there is a signature green, dry smell of the magnolia foliage on humid nights.

From a Friend in Georgia:

Sage brush after the rain, mountain laurel and all sorts of green smells coming down in the breeze from the mountains. Wood smoke from camp fires. The olive trees just finished blooming here, talk about a heavenly, heady smell. Pine trees that smell piney and musky. Roses and lavender and mint growing in my garden. In Georgia in mid-June there is a steamy quality, a promise of a hot day, in the early morning. This steamy damp supports the fragrances of magnolia, gardenia and mimosa uncoiling from their blossoms.

The magnolia blossoms, huge and white, are like giant bows festooning a green and gold taffeta ball gown.

From a Friend in Coastal Virginia:

Honeysuckle blooming along the interstate. The salty, metallic smell of the ocean, the smell of road tar on really hot days, the heavy smell of afternoon thunderclouds. On the weekends, freshly cut grass, the pungency of English boxwood, saucer magnolias on the tree in my front yard. The smell of peaches and tomatoes at the farmer's markets. Jasmine blooming aling the fence in the garden, hamburgers and steaks on the grill. The ozone in the air during a thunderstorm, the green, dirty smell of tomato leaves and the sulphuric smell of strawberries, peach skins and dirt in the garden.

From a Friend in Canada:

Tar and wet cement! In the summer, our town is construction city...roadwork and building construction galore and the smell of tar permeates the air where roadwork is being done. Walking by the construction sites, the fabulous smell of cool, wet cement.

*A Memorable Tundra Night*

Last night, after my shower, I sat on my chaise and prepared to watch the premiere of True Blood, a series much anticipated. I felt comfortable and refreshed after my shower and felt very content.

The weather is still somewhat cool here in the Tundra compared to the rest of the country. Nightfall was approaching and there were thunderstorm warnings. I had my patio door and living room windows open for the night breeze. Earlier in the day, I had planted two containers of Clematis on my patio with fresh earth and applied wood mulch to the base of the plants to protect the roots.

We didn't have thunderstorms, but suddenly I could hear one of my favorite sounds - the night breeze rustling through the forest of trees behind my condo. This breeze brought in the scent of freshly planted earth and mulch as well as the scent of approaching cool rain, rain that began to fall softly.

Is there anything better than this lovely fragrance? This combination of sensory awareness was zen-like and memorable. The lovely fragrance, the perfect night, the feel of fresh air on my skin and the sound of the rustling leaves..................next to Heaven.

*PEONIES IN THE MORNING*

This morning the green fists of the peonies are getting ready

to break my heart

as the sun rises, as the sun strokes them with his old, buttery fingers
and they open —pools of lace, white and pink

and all day the black ants climb over them,
boring their deep and mysterious holes

into the curls, craving the sweet sap, taking it away
to their dark, underground cities and all day

under the shifty wind, as in a dance to the great wedding,
the flowers bend their bright bodies, and tip their fragrance to the air,

all that dampness and recklessness gladly and lightly,

and there it is again — beauty the brave, the exemplary,
blazing open.

Do you love this world? Do you cherish your humble and silky life?

Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?
Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden,

and softly, and exclaiming of their dearness, fill your arms

with the white and pink flowers,
with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling,

their eagernessto be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are

nothing, forever?