Tuesday, June 24, 2008

*ADDITION BY SUBTRACTION* Sometimes less is more.....


There comes a time in everyone's life when they must reevaluate things. For some it is their career path or material possessions. For others, it is their choice in friends or bonds with family. For me, this past year, it has been a little of everything.
I have spent a better part of the past year taking a very close look at many aspects of my life and deciding to listen to my inner voice of what is important and really "necessary". Sometimes it was a faint whisper, but at other times the voice was screaming, yearning to be heard. It is hard sometimes not to listen to others, and to listen to your true inner voice. It is definitely not the easier road to follow your heart and listen to that voice, but sooner or later it is the road we all learn to take.
Everything we see on television or in magazines leads us to believe that the more we have, the happier we will be. We see pictures of cars, jewelry, beautiful people having a great time, great homes, great lives, and that is supposed to make us believe that we should buy whatever it is that they are selling. We buy things to fill our souls even if it is emptying our wallets. We keep friends around to keep us company because sometimes it is easier to be in a crowded room than it is to sit alone, even if, while in the crowd, we still feel lonely. We do whatever we are "supposed to" and what is expected of us. We do what is easy. We are taught that it is better to be skinnier, richer of busier than we can or want to be.
Eventually, something happened to me.
I got tired.
I got tired of living up to other people's perceptions of what is right and what is good. I started to add things up mentally in my mind, a certain kind of "life math", if you will. I had never done that before. I started to think about money, friends, commitments, work and more. It seemed the more I tried to do, the less time I had for myself. I tried to work, have a social life, a love life, and still do the daily chores I needed to "keep up". I tried to ignore that I needed to take care of myself. At the end of the day there was no time left for me or the simple things I enjoyed. The time and energy it took just to keep up with everything and everyone else was becoming not worth it. I began to realize that the more I "subtracted" from my life, the more I actually "added" to it. I am proud to say that the more I found ways to simplify, the happier I was, and am. I now spend my time only keeping in touch with friends who keep in touch with me. The less friends I have, the happier I have become because I am able to truly focus on the relationships that matter and the people that support me. I have learned to pick and choose 1 or 2 outings a week. I have learned to schedule a time to just relax because that is just as important as anything else to leading a full life.
In the past, I worked incredible amounts of overtime to find the money to buy things I did not need, extra clothes, makeup or other material things. I was running myself ragged and didn't want to notice that my health, emotional and physical, was suffering. What was my time and energy worth? Why was I working for these things, that in the end, do not matter. My time is much better spent on things my heart wants to do like read, write, open my artistic self by crocheting, painting my altered art, scrapbooking, watching my vast selection of DVDs, listening to my music, playing with my cats, etc. I was making a nice living, but was I living a nice life?
Now, I spend my whole day trying to decide what I want to do first. I watch the morning news, being a news junkie, I plan my day, then I get dressed. I have then to decide whether it will be a day to read, a day to enjoy my movies, a day to indulge my artistic side in crocheting, making altered art, painting or scrapbooking, sailing the internet, doing a few chores and just relaxing and watching my favorite television programs. There truly are not enough hours in the day to do everything I enjoy. It is so important to enjoy the simple things you like. If your heart and soul aren't happy and healthy, then your body will not be healthy either. I have genuinely felt better the less stress I have in my life. I am happy, I am content; there is no doubt there is a connection.
I know that if the laundry doesn't get done one day, the dishwasher doesn't get unloaded, it is okay. No one is keeping score if your bed is made or your socks match. I have learned that no one really cares how expensive your outfit is, or even if it was bought "this season". There are no extra points in heaven for how clean your house is. The only reward at the end of the day is how happy you are and I am much happier with less............

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