*A Soulmate is.............*

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks.
When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and
We can be completely and honestly who we are;
We can be loved for who we are and not for who we are pretending to be.
Each unveils the best part of the other.
No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe
in our own paradise.
Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction.
When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found
the right person.
Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.


*from The Bridge Across Forever by Leslie Parrish Bach

*Some Thoughts on Forgiveness*

Forgiveness is something that I have struggled with for most of my life. It is something that everyone with a troubled past needs to deal with. If you don't, it will grow like a cancer inside you.
My main issue over the years was that there was only one way to forgive. You had to forgive in the traditional sense of 'turning the other check' so that they could hit you on that side as well. If you could not, you must be a terrible person and you could not get on with your life. It did not make sense to me to forgive things that the other person wasn't truly sorry for. To me, forgiveness implied that what the other person did was okay. I had to learn to let go of the destructive anger inside me, but still felt that what happened was wrong.
Several years ago, I read a book that was helpful to me, I can't remember the title or the author but I remember the advice. I read so many books that it becomes impossible to remember them all. The book had a chapter on things that are forgiveable and discussed how one could be a "moral unforgiver". It discussed the difference in circumstances and the types of situations when to forgive would cause damage or harm. For example, forgiveness in some situations would be tantamount to "colluding in creating a false reality" that can allow future abuse to continue - both for that person as well as others.
As a general principle, I am in favor of forgiveness. I would not think of not forgiving someone who was truly sorry for what they did wrong. My problem comes in forgiving people who either will not acknowledge that they did wrong or people who are not sorry and have no plan to stop what they are doing.
The most interesting concept that I gained from this book was that children who have no validation and no protection become prisoners mentally as well as physically. Not forgiving is a recourse they can only create as independent adults; a way to free themselves from years of being coerced to agree that hate is really love. Under the pretense of promoting family harmony, parents who need to deny one child's viciousness and their own negligence often try to force the victimized child to be "mature" and "rise above it". Later in life, 'good' siblings continue to make the same demands of themselves. Their willingness to accept bad treatment, to feel they deserve it, or to define it out of existence then extends beyond their families and damages their later lives. Even those in less extreme circumstances tend to absorb parental values as an unexamined template for their own responses, making it difficult for them to distinguish what they truly feel from what has been imposed on them. Forgiveness as defined by a family with something to hide negates a daughter's right to think and feel for herself; what they consider healing would in fact be self-annihalting. False forgiveness allows evil to be excused and perpuated, but people have to be held accountable. My parents were not abusive or neglectful in any way, but the environment of alcoholism left them to only dwell on their own personal demons. They loved us the best that they knew how; they were both from the same type of environment. I think that this is especially true of children of alcoholic parents. My best friend and I have discussed this at great length since we both come from the same type of background. In summary, I believe that forgiveness involves the action of not wishing the other person harm.......of no wanting vengeance; as we say forgiving a debt owed us and not expecting payment. We must not dwell on it, continuous thoughts will poison your mind. You can forgive, but you cannot forget, that I am still working on...................................

*Memories*

Memories are heartbeats sounding through the years,
Echoes never fading of our smiles & our tears.
Moments that are captured sometimes unaware,
Pictured in an album or a lock of hair.

Images that linger deep within the mind
Bit of verse we cherished once upon a time.
Through the musty hallways of the days we knew,
Ever comes the vision beautiful and true.

Memories are roses blooming everywhere
Full of fragrant sweetness never known before
Life must have a meaning, goals for which to strive,
Memories are lights that burn and keep the heart alive.

*Old Things Are More Beautiful*

Old things are more beautiful than many things brand new........
Because they bring fond memories of things we used to do.

Old photographs in albums, love letters tied with lace,
Recapture those old feelings that new ones can't replace.

Baby shoes, a Teddy bear, a ring that grandma wore,
Are treasures waiting there behind a door marked "Nevermore."

Old things are more beautiful, more precious day-by-day, because they are the flowers we planted yesterday.


Up in the attic, down on my knees
Lifetimes of boxes, timeless to me.

Letters and photographs yellowed with years
Some bringing laughter, some bringing tears.

Time never changes the memories, the faces,
of loved ones, who bring to me
All that I come from and all that I live for
And all that I'm going to be.

My precious family is more than an heirloom.
(Amy Grant)

*Back To My Political Ranting!*

Over the past several weeks, I have tried to blog pretty, happy things about family, etc. and it all worked out well until I turned on the television yesterday and there he was, Georgie in all his glory. It seems that since the hurricane aftermath, more and more people are against the war in Iraq and Mr. Bush's popularity is slipping. In his speech he was telling us that there had been at least ten attempted attacks on the USA that we didn't know about. He had been our hero and cut them off at the pass so they couldn't harm us. It's wonderful having a cowboy in the White House. I began to wonder to myself, how has this man not been impeached? I cannot understand it - he is different from any president in my lifetime. His differences can be marked by his philosophy, his mannerisms, and his total inability to represent and unite the American people. The country is more divided politically than any time in my life. I think it's because he is not a president who represents our country. He comes from an extemely wealthy, powerful family who money is all tied up in the oil business. So did a lot of presidents come from the same background, you might say to yourself. Bush is quite different in that as our president, he is most interested in being a representative of the group of people who share his own philosophy and wealth. This is most significantly demonstated in his policies on tax cuts to the rich, the one percent of population, those who do not represent our country as a whole. He is a president who has divided this country more than any other, which is most significantly reflected in the composition of his cabinet, only one Democrat, and the manner in which Republicans separate themselves from Democrats today. Nixon, who I really never was fond of did some good if I remember correctly. He got rid of the draft, ended the war in Vietnam and changed the gold standard. In comparison, he was a least an altar boy compared to Georgie.
Georgie is leaving behind him a trail involving the war on Iraq, the issue of WMD, the Downing Street Memo, Abu Grab, Donald Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, hurricane Katrina, the state of the economy and price of oil, FEMA, Mike Brown and now the selection of Harriet Miers! Here is a woman that has never even served as a judge. Of course, she is a close friend of Bushies, and she shares his philosophy. Therefore, should the president of a country not represent the American people as a whole? Is it fair game for the current one to select people who agree with his personal and political philosophies, especially those who are supposed to be neutral, fair and impartial, and are going to represent the judiciary? Shouldn't it be the responsibility of a president to go beyond his own personal beliefs and positions in making selections and the implementation of ideas to reflect the majority or the minority of people in this country? I truly wonder why kind of legacy Dubya will leave behind for this country? Now I am in a countdown phase to the end of 2008 when he will leave the oval office and that can't happen soon enough.

*Always Have A Dream*

Forget about the days
when it's been cloudy,
but don't forget your hours in the sun.

Forget about the times
you have been defeated,
but don't forget the victories you've won.

Forget about the mistakes
that you can't change now,
but don't forget the lessons.

Forget about the misfortunes
you've encountered,
but don't forget the times your luck has turned.

Forget about the days
when you've been lonely.
but don't forget the friendly smiles you've seen.

Forget about the plans
that didn't seem to work out right,
but don't forget to always have a dream.

Don't forget to Live Your Dreams...

*What Is A Dream*

Last night, while laying in bed, I began thinking about dreams. I have always enjoyed my dreams. Some of them have been nonsensical involving unknown people, strange events and happenings, but some of them have been prophecies of the future. I have never had any problem with nightmares or scary dreams as some people do, some refer to them as 'night terrors'. I wonder what it is in their life that makes sleeptime so terrifying for them. Some say that dreams are a key to the soul, some say that they are an accumulation of the day's events and that the mind is just trying to classify them and put them in order. I don't always awaken remembering what I dreamed during the night, but I have always wanted to start a dream log or journal to see if there was any pattern or recurring theme to them. I remember one dream, shortly before my daughter and my mother died. The dream was very vivid, I saw a wreath with dead flowers and a black ribbon on it - I could actually smell it. I didn't understand the significance of it until after the events had happened. Shortly after my daughter's death, I had a dream where she walked towards me smiling - showing me that she was healthy and that she was happy. This dream was unlike any other in it's clarity. It had to be very difficult for her to transcend from where she was, to reassure me that I could stop grieving and worrying because she was now in a place where she had eternal peace. When I awoke, I knew she had visited my dream, because Leslie was that spiritual. People may scoff and view this as not possible, but it did happen and it was reassuring. I have learned to trust my instincts and view my dreams as interesting insight as I sleep through the night.

What is a dream?

A dream is a magical thing
A rainbow of joy in your heart
Your own secret corner
Where no one can go
Where the path to fulfillment can start.

A dream lures you on,
Always one step ahead
Until you have caught it,
And then there's always another
To capture your soul
And lead you onward again.

*Comes The Dawn*

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with you head held high and eyes opened.
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

You learn to build your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much,
So you plant your own garden and decorate you own soul.
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye comes the dawn.

*A Butterfly In The Wind*

A child is like a butterfly in the wind
Some can fly higher than others.
But each one flies the best that it can.
Why compare one against the other?
Each one is different.
Each one is special.
Each one is beautiful.

*Happy Birthday Steven*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON STEVEN!


Steven has a birthday today. Steven lives in Atlanta, Georgia and works for a large intercontinental hotel chain.
He graduated from Michigan State University and decided to move to Atlanta, Georgia to pursue his career. He has been in Atlanta since then and prefers it to Michigan.

I will be flying down in one week to visit him at his lovely home. I usually go to Atlanta at least twice a year just to hang out with my son. I love the Atlanta area and I am excited to go! See you soon, Steven!

*Not To Be Forgotten*

Working in the mental health field, I noticed that the upcoming week (October 2-8) is National Mental Illness Awareness Week. I wondered to myself, how many people are aware of how mental illness is treated in our country.
I remember as a young nursing student back in the 70's getting an excellent education in mental health issues. This was the days of Lafayette Clinic, Northville and other psychiatric facilities that were excellent treatment centers, but which were shortly thereafter closed by the incoming Republic governor, Mr. Engler. It was not just in the state of Michigan, but throughout the country. Where were the mentally ill supposed to go? They became part of our homeless, part of the prison system. This is a shame and a national tragedy.
Mental illness is a cause that I will always be truly passionate about. At least one in four families are in some way touched by mental illness, one form or another.

Mental illness is the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and is categorically referred to as brain disorders. Just like physical illnesses, individuals and families, when faced with these issues, need support, guidance and friendship every step of the way. Mental illness needs to be recognized as much as physical illness, but unfortunately in this country, it is not. Recovery from most forms of mental illness is possible, provided that proper medication, therapy and education are achieved.

Nevertheless, many barriers remain and community education and support are the keys to fighting the stigma associated with mental illness. It is so easy to dismiss or label mentally ill patients as being "crazy", "off their rocker", "nuts" or "whacko". These labels are hurtful to individuals and impact on families who must deal with someone affected with mental health issues. It is necessary for us to be aware of the stigma attached to this illness and to do one's part in being part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

I feel that if we all became involved in this cause, it would be truly possible to heal the world by doing our part in understanding mental illness by reducing stigma and raising awareness. Such activities could include participating in walks, causes, and drives, and most importantly, becoming educated and aware of what goes on in treatment and recovery of those with mental health issues in our country today.

*remembering you, Leslie*

*Lingering Joys*

*Lingering Joys*

The tide recedes, but leaves behind bright seashells on the sand..........
The sun goes down, but gentle warmth still lingers in the land.
The music stops, and yet it echoes on in sweet refrains....
For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.

*Grandchild - Heart of My Heart*

Child of my child, Heart of my heart,
Your smile bridges the years between us -
I am young again discovering the world through your eyes.
You have the time to listen and I have the time to spend.
Delighted to gaze at familiar, loved features, made new in you again.
Through you, I'll see the future, Through me, you'll know the past.
In the present, we'll love one another as long as these moments last.


*God gave us loving grandchildren as a reward for all our random acts of kindness
*Grandchildren are a grandparent's link to the future, and the child's link to the past
*Grandchildren are reminders of what we are really here for, and they are our compensation for growing old.
*I may not be rich, but I have the priceless gift of grandchildren.
*Perfect love sometimes does not come till the first grandchild (Welsh Proverb)
*Our grandchildren accept us for ourselves, without rebuke or an effort to change us, as no one in our entire lives has ever done, not our parents, siblings, spouses, friends - and hardly even our own grown children. (Ruth Goode)


Deana, David, Lauren, Matthew and Christopher - you light up my life......

*The Bridge*

"THE BRIDGE"

(Dorothy Hallard)

The way I walk
I see my mother walking
My feet secure
and firm upon the ground

The way I talk
I hear my daughter talking,
and hear my mother's echo
in the sound.

The way she thought
I find myself now thinking,
The generations linking.
in a firm continuum of mind.

The bridge of immortality
I'm walking,
The voice before me echoing behind.


I love and miss you Mom.............

*Time Passes By and People Leave Us*

Today, I was thinking of the people who have entered and left my life as I was reading the following:

Dreams drift away like leaves on the water.
They roll down the river and slip out of sight.
Too many times we do what we ought.
Put off 'til tomorrow what we'd really rather do do tonight,
and later realize:

Time passes by, people pass on.
At the drop of a tear, they're gone.
Let's do what we dare, do what we like,
And love while we're here before time passes by.

Thoughts are like pennies we keep in our pockets,
they're never worth nothing, 'til we give them away.
But love is like a promise in an un-opened letter,
where nights full of pleasure seldom see the light of day
when life gets in the way.

Time passes by, people pass on,
at the drop of a tear, they are gone
Let's do what we dare, do what we like,
and love while we're here before time passes by.

and...............................

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance,
They awaken us to understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.

Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.


I didn't write these words, but they convey how quickly time and life passes.........................

*What I've Learned*

I've learned -
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved, The rest
is up to them.

I've learned -
that no matter how much I care, some people just don't
care back.

I've learned -
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to
destroy it.

I've learned -
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After than, you'd better know something.

I've learned -
that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.

I've learned -
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it's place.

I've learned -
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED (*REAL WORLD VERSION)


I've learned -
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned -
that no matter how much I care, some people are just jerks.

I've learned -
that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned -
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes,
After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.

I've learned -
that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, they are more messed up than you think.

I've learned -
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take it's place.

I've learned -
that the people that you care most about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.

*I Wish I Had Known*

I wish I'd known from the beginning that I was born a strong woman.

What a difference it would have made!

I wish I'd known that I was born a courageous woman:

I've spent so much of my life cowering.....

I wish I'd known that I'd been born to take on the world;

I wouldn't have run from it for so long,

but run to it with open arms......................

(Sarah Ban Breathnach "Excavating Your Authentic Self")

*The Courage To Be Myself*

I Have the courage to:

*Embrace my strengths.
*Get excited about life.
*Enjoy giving and receiving love.
*Face and transform my fears.
*Ask for help and support when I need it.
*Spring free of the Superwoman trap.
*Trust myself
*Make my own decisions and choices
*Befriend myself
*Complete unfinished business
*Realize that I have emotional and practical rights.
*Talk as nicely to myself as I do to my plants
*Communicate lovingly with understanding as my goal
*Honor my own needs
*Give myself credit for my accomplishments.
*Love the little girl within me
*Overcome my addiction to approval
*Grant myself permission to play
*Quit being a responsibility sponge
*Feel all of my feelings and act on them appropriately
*Nurture others because I want to, not because I have to
*Choose what is right for me
*Insist on being paid fairly for what I do
*Set limits and boundaries and stick by them
*Say "yes" only when I really mean it
*Have realistic expectations
*Take risks and accept change
*Grow through challenges
*Be totally honest with myself
*Correct erroneous beliefs and assumptions
*Respect my vulnerabilities
*Heal old and current wounds
*Wave good-bye to guilt
*Plant "flower" not "weed" thoughts in my mind
*Treat myself with respect and teach others to do the same
*Fill my own cup first, then nourish others from the overflow
*Own my own excellence
*Plan for the future but live in the present
*Value my intuition and wisdom
*Know I am lovable
*Celebrate the differences between men and women
*Develop healthy, supportive relationships
*Make myself a priority
*Accept myself just as I am now

*Every Woman.....................*

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE......................

One old love she can imagine going back to, and one who reminds her of how far she has come............

Enough money to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to and never needs to....

Something perfect to wear if her boss or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A youth she is content to leave behind.....

A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age...

The realization she she is actually going to have an old age and has the money set aside to fund it...

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...........

One friend who always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry...

A feeling of control over her destiny..

A skin care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30..

A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and other facets of life that do get better after 30..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.......

How to fall in love without losing herself...

How she feels about having kids..

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

When to try harder.....when to walk away..

How to have a good time at a party she'd never choose to attend..

How to ask for what she wants in a way that makes it most likely she'll get it

That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

That her childhood may not have been perfect, but its over

What she would and would'nt do for love or more

Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she should'nt take it personally..

Where to go.....be it to her best friend's kitchen table or a charming Inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing.

What she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month and a year.......

*What Do Angels Look Like?*

Angels are ever all around us

And with his love they do surround us.

When my heart is sore in need

The angels come, my soul to feed

They come to me from up above

and sing in whispers of "His" love.

When in my heart I feel a tug

I know that it's an Angel's hug.

What do angels look like?

Like the little old man who returned your wallet that you lost yesterday.

Like the taxi driver that told you that your eyes light up the world when you smile.

Like the small child who showed you the wonder in simple things.

Like the poor man who offered to share his lunch with you.

Like the rich man who showed you that it really is possible, if only you believe.

Like the stranger who just happened to come along, when you had lost your way.

Like the friend who touched your heart, when you didn't think you had one to touch.

Angels come in all sizes and shapes, all ages and skin types. Some with freckles, some with dimples, some with wrinkles, some without.

They come disguised as friends, enemies, teachers, students, lovers and fools.

They are hard to find when your eyes ae closed, but they are everywhere you look, when you choose to see.

*Fairies, I Hope You Believe In Them*

Every time a child says "I don't believe in fairies" there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. (James M. Barrie)

Fairies are invisible and inaudible like angels, but their magic sparkles in nature.

Freckles on the face are actually fairy's kisses.

Garden fairies came at Dawn, bless the flowers, then they're gone.

When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.

Wind chimes in your yards will serenade garden creatures, squirrels, fairies and angels.

*Remembering You, Leslie*

For my sweet baby girl, from your mother.









Leslie Susan McAllister (3-21-63 to 7-5-02)

*I BLEW YOU A KISS*

I blew you a kiss upon the wind
Did you catch it?

Soft as a Unicorn's mane
Sweet as a mystic lake
A subtle breath upon your lips?
I lifted my arms to Heaven
Did you feel me?

Warm as a summer night
Sincere as a mermaid's smile
A light caress upon your skin?
I love you - set sail among the stars
Did you hear it?

A whisper through mighty Oaks
A shout through a numinous midnight
A mysterious flutter of your heart?

I miss you and I love you, my Leslie girl...............

*Our Inner Child: Being A Kid Again*

I work as an RN at a psychiatric hospital in the Adolescent
Unit. I see children from all backgrounds with problems that the average layperson would be shocked to know. Some come from abusive homes, some come well-to-do homes in the suburbs, some are sent here through the court system. Some parents really care about their children and some could care less. One such young girl who I admitted last night was raised from birth in an orphanage in the Ukraine. At that orphanage, she was raped at the age of 6 years old. She was adopted by a couple in the United States at the age of 10. She had difficulty fitting in with these adoptive parents and when they determined that they could no longer keep her after a period of 3 years, she was sent to another set of parents in another state who became her guardians. She was not in this home long either, these parents also decided she didn't fit in and she was sent to several different youth homes and shelters. At these transient homes, she would self-mutilate, fight with and bite the staff and run out into the street in front of oncoming traffic. Due to all these attempts at self-harm, she was sent to our hospital for evaluation. She is now a temporary ward of the state and her future is up in the air - most likely she will be sent to another foster home or another shelter. As I sat with this beautiful child, I could not help but wonder what would eventually become of her. She had never known the innocense and wonder of a normal childhood. How would this important part of her psyche ever develop - love and security were something she had never known. She was forced to grow up with no support system, assuming responsibilities and having to deal with issues that any normal child would not have. She is not unusual in the field I work in, but I will never get used to that fact. I then began thinking, how many of us can go back to our normal inner child and be a kid again?

As we grow older and embrace the multitude of responsibilities that adulthood brings, we often bury a part of ourselves along the way. While a child, each new day brings a new adventure in the form of playing and learning. The fun you have then, as a child, is spontaneous and chaotic, unplanned and exuberant. While your obligations, successes and failures, anxietyabout the future, and lofty goals may make it seem like it's dangerous to step out of the role of adult, the child within still remembers what it was like to be full of mischief and good humor. Having fun for the pure delight of it can feel frivolous, but part of having fun is letting go and acting like a kid again.

It can be difficult to get excited about the changing of the seasons or the coming of a new year when you work year round. But, what better reason is there to have fun than the simple joy of long summer days that are great for running through the sprinkler, rolling in the grass looking for four-leaf clovers, catching fireflies in a jar at dusk, piles of autumn leaves to jump in, making snow angels in the winter or jumping through puddles in the Spring? Kids know instinctively that fun doesn't have to be carefully planned or scheduled in our day planner. Why not go to the nearest playground and spend some time on the swings, or shoot crumpled paper basketballs into your wastebasket during a slow afternoon at the office? Fun can come from veering away from your normal routine like having breakfast for dinner and cake for breakfast once in a while. Do something you have not done since childhood like making freezer pops, riding a bike, building a sandcastle or painting with fingerpaints. Finding fun in unexpected places is a kind of joy no one can ever take away from you. There are lessons to be learned by doing so, about staying carefree and doing something that makes you laugh.

I wonder about these children that are my patients and who they will be in their adulthood. Will their psyche survive the loss of their inner child? We only have them in our custody for a short time while the system decides which foster home or longterm youth home they will go to is decided. I remember them all, I think about them and I pray that eventually they will know happiness in their lives......................................

*Is The Answer Now Blowing In The Wind?*

Who among us is not currently aware of the many things that have gone totally wrong this year? We have seen New Orleans and the gulf coast destroyed by a category 4 hurricane, with countless people, still today, left homeless, jobless, separated from their families and not knowing when, if ever, they can return home. Now we have learned of yet another hurricane, Rita, considered to be the third deadliest in history developing stamina as it heads towards the coast of Galveston, Texas. Two separate hurricanes, with horrific consequences, considered the second and third worst in history occurring less than a month apart. I watched today as a Jet Blue plane, that had left from Burbank, California had problems with the landing gear and had to make a quite spectacular emergency landing. Thankfully, there was a happy ending as the pilot brought the plane down with no one injured. What is becoming of the world with all of these events colliding together as if on a collision course to disaster? How can one explain or even understand the unexplainable?

When things like this occur, it helps to look at what we have inside our own lives to make us grateful. I look at all of life's blessings when feeling a sense of helplessness. My husband, my children, my grandchildren, my pets, my dear friends, and all of the gifts that seem to constitute the porous thread holding all of our lives together.

Life so so fragile - We can see it here before our eyes, and forget how precious it, and everything else around us is. In times of pain and sorrow, we must be mindful of who we are and what we have to offer the world, and to thank God for each and every one of them.

*Taking Inventory Of The Soul*

One day last week at work we were discussing addiction and the 12 step program that addicts use in their rehabilitation process. We decided that it would benefit everyone if, on occasion, they applied it to their own lives. One could do any inventory of oneself, a searching and fearless moral landscape of who we are and what we would like to be.

One would have to think in vivid detail and with total honesty about themselves. One could evaluate who they were, how they think and behave towards themselves, others and God. Where have I been selfish, dishonest, or where can I make improvements. One must not blame the other person, become defensive or their inventory would not be forthright.

Looking deeply into one's self takes courage, strength and a certain type of conviction to see yourself honestly for who we are, and the light can shine within on the person we would like to become, as we turn towards God, towards others, and towards ourselves. Ultimately, we would be asked to make changes with our words and our behavior. As a result, some relationships would be made stronger and some would crumble during the process. Nevertheless, we look at ourselves honestly, and sit in both the role of judge and jury as we bring about a plan for change and growth.

*Remembering to Live*

STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES.......................................



Many present-day cultures are busy ones. We want it all, we look always forward, striving to live optimally and successfully, constantly improving ourselves, and immersing ourselves in the hustle and bustle of great achievements. We rush from here to there, always trying to meet deadlines. In doing so, however, it is so easy to focus our attention on tomorrow while letting today totally slip away unnoticed. After a while, it becomes so difficult to stop, to soften our focus, to look around, and to consider the here and now. We quickly forget how important it is just to take pleasure in the simple joys of existence, like clear blue skies, birds singing, sunsets, the laughter of a loved one, or the rich taste of a favorite dish. We may feel we are too busy to revel in the small stuff, but our future will wait for us and there will always be another responsibility on the horizon. Some say 'less is more' and as I age I see the wisdom in that statement. Remembering a class that I took in college called Comparative Religions, we studied so many different religions, their beliefs, their origin. One day we took a field trip to a Zen Buddist Temple in Ann Arbor. I was enriched by that experience moreso than other trips that we had taken. Entering the temple, I was immediately impressed by the serenity and the calmness. This religion focuses on the simplistic refusing to rush. Knowing that I would not become a Zen Buddhist, I was, nonetheless so impressed with their religion and their serenity. Each moment of our lives gives the potential to seek happiness, satisfaction and spiritual growth.

I remember an old saying: life is what happens while you are busy making plans. While not entirely true, there are real benefits to taking the time to experience life's positive aspects. Many of us, if we try, will find that we are able to make time for living. Try re-evaluating your 'must-do' schedule so that you can focus on what is really vital. Give up control for a few minutes and watch the world go by, take a walk to an unfamiliar place, bask in the sunshine, look at the cloud formations, or play in the snow. There are other delights that come from doing that which we enjoy, such as treasured hobbies or practicing recreational skills. These are also vital.

Remembering to live expresses the fact that you value the whole of your life, rather than just the past or the future. It reminds you why you do what you do and helps you appreciate who you are, instead of only who you will become. The path you will walk is hidden from you, but the path you are walking can be enjoyed from moment to moment, if you take the time to be a part of the goodness around you. Next time you find yourself overwhelmed with goals, deadlines, agendas, don't forget to just live.

*Wish I May, I Wish I Might*

I think that most of us have found ourselves daydreaming a time or two, or in one form or another. We may be seduced by an accomplishment of some personal goal, dream or wish, or our desires may in fact speak to a larger forum for something to occur in the world. Others, may dream in metaphors embracing the spiritual and/or religious elements of the world as like whirling dervishes from an old but familiar tale. Be that as it may, we all have dreams in one form or another.

The other night, when the sky was clear and millions of stars were blinking their light, with warm accompanying rain shower announcing it's soft presence, I started thinking about about how my Mother used to tell me as a little girl "wish on that star" as she pointed to the sky. This made me consider what I would wish for now, or what I would like to do or see happen during my own life time.

Here is what I came up with for the moment:

1. If money were no object, I would love to see England, Ireland, the South Pacific Islands.

2. I would love to see peace in the world, to be able to switch on the tv and see countries coming together instead of being at war.

3. I want to live long enough to see my grandchildren graduate college, to see them married and to hold my great-grandchildren, as well.

4. I wish I had taken dance lessons as a child, as I would love to continue in advanced dancing lessons. I have always had a love for dance and music, just wish I would have explored it more thoroughly.

5. I would love to see a cure for cancer and for AIDS, as well.

6. I would love to be able to be an ambassador of good will and provide care for the impoverished children in Africa, Somalia and other parts of the world .

7. I would love to swim with the dolphins one time in my life.

8. When it is my time to leave this earth, I want to know that my children are happy, cared for and secure.

9. See a time where all people in this country had affordable health care.

10. See a wealth of treatment centers for the mentally ill and the developmentally disabled.

11. See treatment and rehabilitation available for all forms of addiction.

*Being Who You Are and Living Your Truth*

As little children, we are truly innocents and we live authentically, seldom afraid or embarrased to seek out what we want or to speak our minds. I love the innocense of children, they are born that way. It is such a precious quality lost way too quickly.
As we grow older, we tend to tuck that authenticity away, putting it aside while we chase our dreams, afraid that it might hinder us in our goal of success. But somehow, we never let the freedom completely go. We most likely conform to society while embracing secret passions when alone. We sometimes withhold certain opinions, even though it doesn't change the fact that we possess them. I think it is so important, however, not to stray too far from that youthful brashness and self-interest for they are qualities that help make you who you are. Many people quickly forget this in their effort to please or to fit in. The authentic you is your true self and by living authentically, you live your truth, making time for the things that you love and in essense, projecting who you really are. The simplest way to live your truth is to leave the expectations of others behind and to live the way you feel most worthwhile.

Actually, sometimes it takes being selfish in a healthy way to do what you know is best for you, regardless of the opinion of others - sometimes even the opinions of friends and family. Living your truth and living authentically means that you make choices without fear, trusting in your soul's wisdom. If you value personal pursuits, don't feel forced into a certain job just to make enough money to keep up with the neighbors. Conversely, if you prize success in business, don't let other's perception of what is right for you hold you back either. Denying your unique truth can lead to feelings of failure and unhappiness because you are not acknowledging your true self. In living your truth, there are no promises, everything you do will reflect who you are.

If you are unsure of what your authentic or true self is, look inward and ask yourself what your purpose, values and needs are, honor your strengths and do not let yourself be guided by what others expect of you. Finally, most important of all, discover what your passions are by trying new things and sticking with the things that stir your soul. Finding out who you really are and then making the choice to embrace your dreams and desires will take your life in a direction that is both satisfying and meaningful.

*Steps In The Right Direction*

With all of the tragedy in the world recently, I have decided to take a vacation from tragedy and take steps in the right direction! It is a time to be positive and to begin to make changes in the world. I have came up with the following eight ways to make a difference in the world:

1. Everything, people, places and situations have something to say! I am going to really listen, without interrupting or letting my attention wander. This, I feel. is the simplest way to learn and understand the needs of other people and of the world.

2. Volunteering your time or donations of money are causes which touch many hearts. Read to an elderly patient or buy new books for a veteran's home. Work at a soup kitchen or send a gift of food. No matter the size or your gift, big or small, ultimately your contribution will positively affect many people.

3. Embrace nature and beautify the world around you for others. To lift one's spirits, keep your garden bright, or plant and maintain flowers in a public place, Or, you could always donate a tree in someone's name in your local park. As a gift to wild animals, make your yard friendly with dense hedges and by using only natural pesticides.

4. Your energy will show, believe me, and it will affect others so choose to be beacon of light. Project goodness, happiness, and peace outward through your home, neighborhood, country, and finally the world. The effects of this are felt for thousands of miles.

5. Smile and the world smiles with you. When you catch a stranger's eye, flash a bright smile even if you are feeling that happy. Your stranger may seem confused, but their day (and yours) will be brighter.

6. Animals feel a lack of love as acutely as humans do. Adopt a pet from your local shelter rather than purchasing from a pet store. If your life cannot include having a pet around, spend an afternoon volunterring at the local shelter giving the animals so much needed attention.

7. Help improve someone's self-esteem or simply show them that you care. Give a compliment, send a friendly letter, or tell someone you were thinking about them. Make a sincere effort to keep in touch with long-time acquaintances and to develop new friendships.

8. Be a role model. Rather than asking others to alter themselves, change your outlook and .behavior. A role model can be a source of inspiration, hope and self-respect. Actively take on the responsibilities of a role model and reach out to children in need of guidance or an adult in need of a friend.

Do all of these suggestions sound "pollyannish" or simplistic, of course they do. But, I have always felt that good attitude and good deeds have a domino effect. We so desperately need postive change in this world we live in. We are so badly divided as a nation as well a world. We have to begin to resolve our differences and make this world a better place to live, we truly do. If we don't, the future of our children and grandchildren will be doomed one.

*Divided We Stand - Divided We Fall*

Over the past several weeks, I have been noticing that most people in this country are so divided, politically. Some divisions are along idealogical lines, with morality as a core component of the difference. Many others prefer to be divided politically, with nasty barbs thrown at will if an opinion is expressed contrary to one's own. The resulting name calling could be: dumb conservative, right wing conservative, left leaning commie liberal. If you are Republican, you stand for this - if you are Democrat, you want this! Be this as it may, our country seems to be more and more divided by the day. This fracture, I feel, is one that will be very difficult to heal and it breaks my heart that both sides cannot heal and come to any type of compromise.

Most people I know realize my dissatisfaction with the Bush administration, I frequently make my feelings known on my own blog and others. Truly, I had hoped, and even prayed, yes prayed, for a more compromising President, one who would not view the world in such rigid terms, such as 'my way or the highway', but this is not to be had during this presidency. This man never admits that he has ever made a mistake. That is so dangerous in a world leader, we all make mistakes. He severely lacks diplomacy with other nations and countries around the world, along with a lack of compassion or understanding for the common, noncorporate, man and woman in America today. I see him as being a person who thinks that his way is the only way, and whether you like it or not, he will have his way. He must have been very catered to and had all of his needs met as a child, spoiled actually. I saw him speaking today on the news in front of the United Nations, asking for their assistance. Normally, I change the channel when he speaks, but I found him requesting help as truly unbelievable. Why didn't he wait for the help of other nations before invading Iraq? We are stuck there now, it is a Pandora's box that should have never been opened. I doubt that other nations will be so willing to help now. I love my country, have always voted, campaign for my candidate during the elective process, and it pains me to see the direction in which this country is going.

The recent horrors of hurricane Katrina, with the ravages to the earth, wind and fire have created a division in our nation even more, along class, race and ethnic lines. Some gross generalizations are established as a result, with people pointing the finger at the federal government, or conversly chastizing local officials and state government. Regardless of the name and blame game, there is a clear division of opinion, regardless of fault, which is usually accorded to one group or the other. There is little, if any, middle ground anymore, and the division appears to be along extreme lines pitting one group in dramatic opposition to the other.

The four year anniversary of 911 has recently passed. We stood together as a people after that horrible event, we helped one another and there was no division. We came together as the most wealthy, prosperous and compassionate of all nations. Upon reflection, today after the recent devastation of hurricane Katrina, we have some significant issues to tackle as a country. The perception of America as a great country is losing footing among our own citizens and from the perspective of the world at large.

Four years after our country was attacked on 911, we have an administration having badly bungled both the war in Iraq and the recent major disaster in the gulf. We have a budget that is unmanageable, gas prices are totally out of control and thousand of homeless, jobless people. Our President is losing the popularity contest, and his numbers are plummeting each and every day, but in the end, does it really make any difference? Faced with an unpopular President, and a rich country presently in a terrible state, what, if anything can be done?

Our political system, although containing safeguards for ousting a President, given the current state of the composition of the Senate and the House, with a Republican majority, is truly rather safe so that the current administration can sail through without much accountability for it's actions. Besides, when one looks at the divisions along party lines, and the lack of unity in this country at the present time, most Republicans back and defend Bush regardless of what he does, to them, he can do no wrong. Party loyalty seems to have replaced blood in the public spectrum and is, in fact, thicker than water, as the only saying goes. Can it truly be said that whether we like what is happening or not, we must accept it no matter where it takes us on any given day?

Can anyone believe that as an American, your voice can be heard today and that you can still make a difference? Can anything be done with Bush and his administration, given the current state of politics? What remedies do we think we have as Americans? Are we better off or safer than we were four years ago as a country? I don't think so. What can be done to unite the people of this nation once more? Will the divisions between us ultimately be our downfall, like a civil war between the "red" and the "blue" or are they needed to achieve some type of necessary balance?