*A Very Special Mother's Day*

I think that over the years, every woman wonders deep in her heart whether or not she has been a good mother. A mother who has raised her children with good values, ethics, kindness and enough love and attention. Being a mother, a good one, anyway, is a difficult job. You are handed a tiny human being and expected to care for it, nourish it and teach it all of the right things and the right values. There are no magic powers instilled in any of us to do so. Each child is different as well and needs different care, and you try so hard not to show any partiality. You know that you love them each individually and equally, but you would never convince them of that. You only hope that they grow up healthy, pick good partners, have a good home and make the right choices in life.

When my children were being raised, their parents fought a lot and most of the time. Their mother stayed in the relationship for longer than she should have, raised herself to believe that women do that 'for the sake of the children'. My mother did and her and my dad fought constantly. I think that parents, mothers anyway, are striving so hard to keep the family unit together, the home intact, that we forget that our children are seeing all of the anger, the fighting and the dysfunction. After 20 years, I did get out of that dysfunctional relationship but by then my children were almost grown. In retrospect, I felt that I should have gotten out sooner and that I had somehow damaged them by keeping them in a home where they witnessed all of the anger and the hurt and were caught in the middle. I prayed that they would choose the right partners, have happy homes and good values, but if the truth be known, I often worried they would not because of the hostility that they were raised in. I blamed myself entirely for that. As one ages and you get out of relationships, you hopefully learn to value yourself more. Maturity teaches you that it is better to be alone than to be in a 'lonely' relationship. Every mother knows that you would literally kill for any of your children, that you would rather be hurt yourself than see them suffer or be in any type of pain, yet we stay in relationships far too long trying to do the 'right' thing.

Several weeks ago, my daughter asked if I could keep this weekend open so that I could watch my younger grandson while his brother played in a sports tournament. No problem there, I adore being with him. She also said that they were taking me out for dinner anywhere I chose on May 11th. I made sure that I planned nothing else for the weekend and the night of May 11th, I met them at the restaurant I had chosen. When I walked into the restaurant my daughter, her husband and children were sitting there with my son. My son lives in Atlanta, Georgia and had flown in that morning to be with me on Mother's Day. I never even suspected. I had been mentioning for several months how I wanted to redecorate my two bathrooms but just didn't have the energy to complete this task. I had talked about the colors I wanted to use, etc. and thought nothing of it. We had dinner and the next morning my son took me to pick out the different paints and supplies, which he bought. He spent all day Friday and Saturday doing all of this manual labor. My daughter took me out on Saturday and bought me towels, a shower curtain, pictures for the walls, everything, which she also bought. What a gift! How do you thank your kids for something like that?

I then began reflecting back on their youth. Apparently, in spite of the home they were raised in something wonderful must have been taught or learned. They are now adults with good jobs, beautiful homes, they go to church and their values are the highest. Both I and their father must have done something right in our lifetimes to deserve these wonderful kids. They give from the heart, they are kind and gentle people with good ethics. For that, I am so thankful and today is a very special Mother's Day.