*My Best Friend, Judy.....................*

The other night, several co-workers were discussing the importance of having 'best' friends versus one's number of acquaintances. I drove home and started to contemplate it. I could count on one hand my best friends in this lifetime. One of my first best friends, Betty, and I more or less grew up together. We knew each other from Junior High, our dad's worked at the same Chrysler plant. We got married fairly close, we had children the same way, we saw each other socially at least once a week. We even went as families on many trips and vacations. She was my best friend for over 30 years, but yet, when I filed for divorce from my first husband, and she had just recently been divorced by her husband, she ended up with my husband, who I then considered as well, 'my best friend in the world.

I then began thinking about 'what is the difference between a friend and a best friend, and compared Betty to my friend, Judy'?

1. A friend has rarely seen you cry, but your best friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

2. A friend doesn't know your parent by their first names, but your best friend has their phone numbers in her address book.

3. A friend brings a bottle of wine to your party, but your best friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

4. A friend hates it when you call after she has gone to bed, but your best friend asks "whats the matter" and sits up in bed to listen.

5. A friend seeks to talk with you about your problems, but a best friend seeks to listen and help with any problems that she can.

6. A friend wonders about your romantic history, but your best friend could literally blackmail you with it, but doesn't.

7. A friend, when visiting, seems to act like a guest, but a best friend opens your refrigerator and helps herself.

8. A friend expects you to always be there for her when she needs you, a best friend knows as you know, that she will always be there for you.

9. A friend thinks the friendship is over when you disagree or have an argument, your best friend 'knows' that is's not a friendship until you have had a fight.

Judy is my best friend and has been for over 25 years. We worked together as Nurses, we have babysat each other's children, we divorced our husband together, remarried others together, divorced the second ones together, and disagreed, argued, and loved each other together for that 25 years. When my oldest daughter died in 2002, I called Judy long after bedtime because I was so distraught and she was the person in the world that I could open my heart to, cry and sob in my grief, and she was there. She was there the entire memorial service, refusing to leave unti she was assured I was okay. She has always been there for me. She definitely passes the 'best friend' test and I am so lucky that I have her as my 'best friend'!